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Gunslinger Challengers Preacher to a Duel
by Greg Miller By Greg Miller 2014 Old West Gunslinger challenged Old West Preacher to a duel. Reasoning that "times are tough," Gunslinger supplemented his illegal income with money he legally earned as the town's undertaker. Gunslinger was certain as to his weapon of choice. "I'll use my favorite six shooter," he told Bartender. "It's never failed me." "A wrong choice of weapons would be deadly," Preacher told Mrs. Preacher. Gunslinger began taking bets on the duel's outcome. "It's s a sure thing," he told Mrs. Gunslinger. "I know I'm gonna win, so it ain't really a gamble." "You've won all your duels so far," said Mrs. Gunslinger. "I have confidence in you, but this time you're taking on a man of God, so I hope you're not makin' a mistake." Both Gunslinger and Preacher advertised their upcoming duel in the local newspaper. Gunslinger expressed both confidence and enthusiasm. "Following the duel, come to the saloon," stated the ad. "Everyone will git free drinks. Also, I will be takin' over as the town's marshall." Preacher's ad stated, "Like Gunslinger, I'm offerin' free drinks. Cold, refreshin' milk'll be served at the church. Also, this duel will be the beginnin' of an all-out war on evil in town." Weapons drawn, Preacher and Gunslinger walked determinedly to the center of town. Gunslinger's pistol was in his hand. Preacher was armed with a different kind of weapon, a sharp two-edged sword. "What do you hope to accomplish with that outta-date date book?," screamed Gunfighter. The Bible isn't out of date!," Preacher declared. "It's the powerful, accurate and effective Word of the Sovereign Lord!" Preacher opened his Bible to Psalms 91:5-7, "Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday. A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee." Suddenly, a bright light from heaven blinded Gunslinger. "Gunslinger, you have dared to challenge my servant, to a duel!," God thundered. "He has already won the duel! Get down on your belly, you snake, crawl over to him and ask for his forgiveness!" Gunslinger dropped to the ground, and his face hugged the dust. "Yes, Sir, Lord," Gunslinger stuttered, slithering over to Preacher. "III'm sorry," Gunslinger slobbered. "Please forgive me!" "You're forgiven, Gunslinger! Now I'm givin' you one minute to git outta town!" Gunslinger reluctantly obeyed. God whispered, "This is my inside voice. Now don't let me ever catch you in this town again!" To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraisers, Christian Creativity Seminars and/or puppet ministry, please email [email protected]. By Greg Miller 2018 Greg is retired from the Elizabethton STAR Newspaper, after working there for almost 23 years. He now freelances for the paper. Contact email address is [email protected], also facebook.com/kidcool4jesus. Available for speaking engagements/other ministries. Jesus is Lord Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |