Top Ten Reasons I Really Despise Flies
by Tonja Taylor

There are many reasons I really despise flies. Here are only 10 of them: 

10. They intrude upon my personal space without being invited.
9. They can fly without an airplane.* I can't.
8. They bite. Me.
7. They have more eyes than I do, yet have no meed for glasses nor contact lenses.
6. They are faster than I am and physically repulsive. Besides that, they are ugly.
5. They easily discern my murderous intentions and evade my malevolent actions, and are therefore insolent and obnoxious.
4. They buzz, usually right in front of my face.
3. Their favorite landing strip is my nose. Second favorite is my hair, where, instantly drunk on hair spray, they fuss and buzz and thrash about until I'm forced to (1) Rake my fingers through my coiffure like two mutated tarantulas throwing tantrums; or (2) scream until someone else destroys my coiffure for me, in an attempt to destroy the invaders.
2. Unlike moths, they are not suicidally infatuated with my bug zapper.**
1. And the number one reason why I really despise flies: They make me a bad driver.

I'm working on getting a government grant to fund more research by OFTEH (Organization For the Eradification of Houseflies).

Meanwhile, remember my motto: The best fly is a dead fly!

*Impressive, in a "Top Gun" sort of way, but irritating.

**Too bad. I realize this could upset the ecosystem as God has designed it. But I can always dream. Or maybe invent a more effective bug zapper....


Tonja K. Taylor is the author of many works, including THE ADVENTURES OF PRINCESS PEARL, P.O.W.E.R.* Girl! series. She and her husband Clayton minister the Word through teaching, preaching, and the arts, through River Rain (Creative Arts) Ministries (You Tube, God Tube), their church, and beyond.

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