How To Handle Your Child's Misconduct (Part Two).
by Olawale Ogunsola

In the first part of this write-up, I wrote about two causes and cures for a child's misconduct or misbehaviour namely, peers' influence and Internet influence.

Do you know that causes and cures for a child's misconduct is not limited to the two points discussed? I make bold to say that these two are even easier to conquer than the third I am here to discuss with you.

What can this be?

This is what I would like to call "INBORN INFLUENCE".

What do I mean by this? It is a misconduct that a child is born with. This type of misbehaviour is natural to the child and easier. It is in his blood stream. It is part and parcel of his nature. He does not need any external influence or cooperation in most cases, although this can be a catalyst to enhance any misconduct.

Let me give you a simple and practical example to explain this. Come along with me : Just yesterday, June 21,2020. a rift ensued between a brother and his immediate younger sister over a non - issue, a charger to charge their phones.

How did it start?

When electricity company in Nigeria suddenly supplied light after about four days black out, the sister was the first to plug in the charger to draw power to her phone. Then the brother came in to use that same charger for his own handset. Then exchange of words, hot words, followed.

The sister uttered unprintable words to insult her older brother roughly. This girl did not desist, she even threatened to deal with him if he dared to beat her.

This brother made good his threat by beating her black and blue.

Now, this lady assured the brother that he will be rewarded in his own way by thugs at her disposal, adding, "No one can prevent me, no one can plead with me, I will not agree. You must pay for it."

She immediately called a few boys on phone to inform them of an assignment to beat his older brother in the evening of that day. Every attempt to dissuade her from taking that step proved abortive. She insisted that her brother must be taught some lessons.

This lady called her mother to inform her that she should prepare to loose either or both of them on her arrival at home. This is because the woman was not at home when the dispute ensued.

When their mother came back home, she rebuked the two of them. From her words, certain truth were revealed.

One, she said that the brother is a replica of his father. Do you ask in what respect? Yes, in women beating. The woman revealed that her husband can beat a woman to death if such woman do not run from him.

This is true picture of their father. It was then I remembered that I have witnessed such between them. The woman ran out on that day when the man was ready to beat her.

Is the son wrong to resemble his father? Like father like son.

Two, this woman blamed the younger sister for two things. (1) for her strong negative verbal power and her inability to forgive others.

It would have been in her honor to stop at that but she went ahead to tell her daughter, "I am not like you. I easily forgive people and if I am involved in a rift, I put an end to it as soon as possible or when people plead with me."

What she said about herself is putting on a filthy rag of righteousness. Why? About three weeks earlier, in the first week of June, 2020 or thereabout, this woman was annoyed with the same daughter for keeping night outings. Do you know what? She was sincere to her words because the lady slept outside the house on that day.

What do you have to say about this? Is not the daughter like the mother? Can you clearly see the weakness of the parents in their children?

One sad things is that, in many cases, parents are like this woman, they do not know that their children's misconduct is inherited from them.

SURE CURE. Examine the misconduct noticed in your child very well. Ask yourself, is this misconduct not in me also? Has this child not taken after me! Is he not displaying what is inherent in me that is in him? Is he not a carbon copy of me? In most cases you are the person, your child is acting out or that of your husband or wife. Only examine yourself carefully. If a child takes after you, it is not a sin so it has been designed by God, the Creator of all thing.

Genesis 1:29 makes it clear that every herb and tree yields seeds after its kind. So it is with man. God's commanded is for mankind to be "fruitful and multiply" (Gen 1:28). Mankind must do this to bring seeds after his kind. So if you bring a son or daughter your kind is following God's commandment.

However, it is a common mistake among parents not to own up when they see their children manifesting their weakness. This ought not be so.

1. Talk to your child about the misconduct he inherited from you. Let the child know what you have suffered from it in the past. Let him know what he may suffer from it as well. Tell his God's heart about it. Let him know His possible judgment on him if he continues.
To tell your child is not a sign of weakness. After Jacob in the Holy Bible cheated his brother Esau with the help of his mother, he went to his uncle, Laban to safe his wrong doing. He narrated the whole story of his uncle who responded by the following words,
"Surely you are my bone and flesh". Gen 29:14. New King James Version. (NKJV).

This means supplanting others was the stock in trade of Rebecca's family, so Jacob took after that family. It is not his fault because it is in his blood.

Do you know what? The Lord God of his fathers, Abraham and Isaac, helped him to pay for his misconduct in the house of Laban by paying for it ten times (see Genesis 31:7. He knew that cheating is bad. He became a new man and never cheated again. Let your child know that he must be born again. He must receive a new spirit, Holy Spirit or the Spirit of Christ, to become a new person with a new conduct.

To do this effectively, as a parent, you must have been born again yourself to convince your child that you are sincere. Otherwise, you will be an hypocrite to say what is good while you are busy doing evil. Put on a new leaf yourself.

After this, introduce your child to reading Life Instructional Manual, that is the Holy Bible. Teach him to meditate in it day and night that he may prosper in his ways and to have good success. Joshua 1:7-9.
II. Another strong and unfailing cure is prayer. Engage in serious prayers for the Lord to intervene in your child's misconduct. Although his problem is resident in his blood, He can handle it efficiently and permanently.
See how the Lord God introduces Himself thus,
"Behold, I am the Lord, God of all flesh.
Is there anything too difficult for me?" Jeremiah 32:27. NKJV.

Do you believe this? Nothing is too difficult for Him. Whatever is your child's inherited misconduct, the Lord is his Creator, he can dry up the sinful blood he had inherited to replace it with His righteous one. This will turn everything around for good.

The Lord assures that He is ready to hear your prayers:
"call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great
and mighty things, which you do not know." Jer 33:3. NKJV.

This means that there is hope in turning your child's misconduct around for the glory of the Lord.

Only examine the mis-conduct if it is parental to know what to do. Tell him the truth and consequences which you have suffered before. Turn it into prayers. The Lord will surely answer you and turn your child to become better.

Stay blessed and prepared for the coming of the Lord.

The Author is the set man of CTFM(WORLD OUTREACH)and Presiding Pastor of Christ Restland Gospel Church.He is a Poet and author of many books. Visit his blogsites and for more quality contents.

Article Source:


Thank you for sharing this information with the author, it is greatly appreciated so that they are able to follow their work.

Close this window