Sure Secrets Of A Successful Marriage
by Olawale Ogunsola

It is disheartening nowadays that the rate of divorce and separation is astronomically high. This is against the plan of the Architect and Initiator of marriage, that is God. The Initiator of marriage has the required materials to build a successful marriage. He designed it for those He made in His image and likeness to be happy and joyous. Today, many homes are now places where couples have only become "managers", tolerating each other only. They have become necessary burdens to each other.


For the purpose of having a successful home, there are two very important materials that have been jettisoned by those involved in marriage. Failure to use the right materials for building a structure will amount to planning ahead the collapse of such structure.


What are these materials? They are Leaving and Cleaving. These are recommendations of the Artitect of marriage. He says in Genesis 2:24
"Therefore shall a man, LEAVE his father and mother,
and SHALL CLEAVE unto his wife and they shall be one flesh." King James Version.(capitals mine).


In other words, it is: leaving + cleaving = oneness. Becoming one is the sole goal of marriage. Anything different is a deviation and this ought not to be so at all. Note that there is no confusion in knowing who should leave and cleave as well as who or what to leave and who to cleave to.


The man is commanded to leave and cleave. Who are to be left? Father and Mother. Every man must be ready to leave his parents that he may be able to "fuse" into one with his wife for the rest of his life. This is, he should detach himself from his "former" household to be able to form and rule a "new" one. If he does not have freedom from the claws of parental laws, he will not be able to set up a new home, for the glory of the Lord.


It is sad that many men find it difficult to leave their parents. Although they are married, they still live under the same roof with their parents, taking orders and directives from their fathers and mothers. Their parents dictates what they and their wives will do. Doing contrary deserves a sanction from their parents. Their wives are under the control of the mothers. She, the wife, will have no voice of her own in her own "home". This ought not to be so. Expectation of every woman is for the husband to cleave to her. The words of Leah in Genesis 29:34 remain,
"Now this time will my husband be joined unto me..."


Every married woman has this expectation. Where it is not forthcoming, troubles brew.


Do you ever wonder why this instruction of "leaving and cleaving" is directed at man? This is because, in most cases, a woman leaves her former abode to live with the man to form their own home. Do you know that every woman must also obey this commandment to have a successful and happy home?
"Heaken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine hears;
forget also thine own people, and thy father's house." Psalm 45:10.


This is mandatory also. Inability to forget a woman's own people and father's house has led and still leading to collapse of many potential happy homes.


Many ladies are married but are still under the control of their parents. Their own people, brothers, sisters, friends, cousins, and nephews still negatively influence happenings in their lives, ditto homes. Confussion in many cases arises when there is conflict of interests between the husband and the woman's people as well as her father's household.


A servant cannot serve two masters.

Ruth's decision should be the desire of every lady who wants to have a happy home. She said to Naomi, her mother-in-law, who had intreated her to go back from following her,
"intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following
after thee : for whither thou goest, I will go ; and where thou
lodgest, I will lodge; thy people shall be my people, and thy God
my God.
Where thou diest, will I die and there will I be buried : the
Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee
and me." Ruth 1:16-17.


Ruth's decision is anchored on having a change of destiny and ending. Let me stress three of her statements that is worthy of emulation."whither thou goest, I will go."


Take note that Ruth have purposed in her heart to forsake all her old ways. She found a "destiny moulder" in her mother-in-law. So, she vowed to allow herself a change of destiny. She never acted contrary to Naomi's instructions. It was Naomi who connected Ruth to Boaz, who became her new husband. Boaz has this testimony about Ruth
"Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter : for thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followed not young men, whether poor or rich" Ruth 3:10.


Please, pay attention to the fact that Ruth was a Moabitess, a gentile nation and would have acted contrarily to Boaz's commendation.


"Thy people shall be my people". Ruth purposed to fuse herself into the people of Naomi, and it was to her benefits. Why? She had a place of rest in a home she could call her own. She had a glorious child named, Obe.
"Obed, he is the father of Jesse, the father of David." Ruth 4:17.


"Thy God my God." This is the ultimate! Swarping of God for gods! This is done with the best of invention. Moabites are known to worship gods (Ruth 1:15). She however chose the God of the Jews. Closely related to this is a better choice of an ending. What is this? Ruth added,
"Where thou diest, will I die."


Any sense in that? The words of Balaam clarifies this thus, in Num 23:10.
"Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his!"


This was evident in the life of Rachel, the wife of Jacob; although in contrast. She was a Syrian ready to perish. Jacob loved her and she in turn loved Jacob but not the God of Jacob. She found it extremely difficult to forget her father's house so when she left her father's house, she took along some idols. Genesis 31:32.


She confidently concealed it that Jacob and Laban did not know this.


What was the final outcome of Rachel's acts. What was her end and place of rest? Gen 35:16.
"And they journeyed from Bethel; and there was but a little way to come to Ephrath: and Rachel travailed, and she had hard labour.
And it came to pass, when she was in hard labour, that the mid wife said unto her, fear not ; thou shalt have this son also.
And it came to pass, as her soul was in departing, (for she died) that she called his name "Ben-oni" but his father called him Benjamin.
And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Beth-lehem." Genesis 35:16-19.


Rachel did not rest with the righteous, unlike Leah. This is confirmed in Gen 49:29,31 when Jacob was on his death - bed, he said,
" I am to be gathered unto my people : bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite.
There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife ; there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife ; and there I buried Leah."


Note well that those women, Sarah, Rebecca and Leah were buried together with their righteous husbands. How was this made possible? They left and cleaved to their husbands and the God of their husbands was their own God. They submitted to them. They loved their husbands as well as their own God, not gods of their fathers. Leah did not steal her father's idols, she slept with the righteous ; Rachel stole her father's idols but she was buried by the roadside alone.


In the final analysis, leaving and cleaving is central to having a happy married life. Leave all old ways to reap all new benefits. It is the Law of the Lord. You cannot break His commandment and go unpunished except you repent.


Do you want to have a happy home and be buried with the righteous, leave and cleave to your spouse.
Stay blessed and prepared for the coming of the Lord.
NOTE. All Scriptures quoted are from King James Version of the Holy Bible.

The Author is the set man of CTFM(WORLD OUTREACH)and Presiding Pastor of Christ Restland Gospel Church.He is a Poet and author of many books. Visit his blogsites and for more quality contents.

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