WAYS OUT OF MARITAL INCOMPATIBILITY-- ELIMINATION
by Olawale Ogunsola

Elimination is a method or a way out Marital Incompatibility. 

 


In the previous articles, it has been stated that there cannot but be areas where couples are looking in different ways on many things. They are little things that have ruined many potential happy homes. This fear of loosing a happy home planned by people now scare many upcoming youth from marriage. Many people who have had a stake at marriage but lost out due to incompatibility with their partners are not ready to give another person a trial.

 

Resigning to fate in failure, is not the right step to take. "If you fall from a horse, you ought to ride it again", that is an African proverb. To stage a comeback calls for a thorough analysis of what brought your previous marriage to a halt and identify your contributory negative roles to bring it to its kneels. You need to be ready to make necessary adjustments. Then, you can go ahead to give remarriage a trial.

 

If you have not been married before but you are scared of venturing into it because of what you have seen in other people's homes, you must ask yourself "Am I ready to accept a necessary change?"

 

Changes required in every marriage are little matters that are powerful enough to affect a marriage negatively.

 

Do you know that there is no problem that has no solution? It requires an analysis of that issue on hand. That is why "elimination" can be a way out of some martial incompatibility. There are so many things that a couple can do away with or can be well handled at a distance.

 

Let me come up with an instance at this juncture.

 

A single young man who chose to live with a younger brother who assists him in carrying out little household chores. Later, if this man get married, the helping boy can be a source of trouble in the new home if care is not taken. The wife may not be ready to live with the young boy living with her man before marriage.

 

Do you know that if the man stood his ground on retaining this younger brother, the home will be hot and can be a factor that will break their new home. There ought to be a two-person conference between the husband and wife to profer a permanent solution to this issue on hand.

 

The wife should be allowed to state her problem with the man's brother. The man also must discuss the reasons he has for retaining his brother. If they could not find any other way out, they can decide to eliminate the boy in their new home.

 

How?

 

Where possible and affordable, the young boy can be taken to a school that has a boarding facility. The man may decide to single-handedly pay the bill or in love, the wife can join hands with her man to do this. Where the wife can afford it, she he can on her own settle the boy's bill, so long there will be peace in her home.

 

On the other hand, the young boy can be taken to another family member who can accommodate him with the aim of supporting him in his new abode. Acceptable and reasonable explanation must be advanced for this action so that the couple will not be in the bad book of their family members and those who have vested interested in the young boy.

 

Alternatively, if the husband has a family friend who can accommodate him he/she can be brought in. Most especially someone the man, husband, can trust. In many cases, counsellors, or minister of God who are matured can be brought in to be of help. Yet, the new family should not abandon the boy in his hand. They should assist the counsellor or minister so that he will not regret it by seeing the boy as a burden.

 

Note that, to take an issue out of the way calls for reasoning and planning together. Execution must also be with agreement. There should be no buck passing between the two persons, both should be ready to take responsibility as it demands.

 

In the final analysis, elimination is a sure way to tackle incompatibility. You need to prayerfully think out how to carry it out in favour of everyone concerned. Let me drop this before I round it up.

 

Poverty is one of the factors that must be eliminated in every home. My counselling experience has shown that many differences between couples can be traced to poverty. Ruminate on this and eliminate it.
Stay blessed and prepared for the coming of the Lord.



The Author is the set man of CTFM(WORLD OUTREACH)and Presiding Pastor of Christ Restland Gospel Church.He is a Poet and author of many books. Visit his blogsites www.4thlink.wordpress.com and www.peacelink.wordpress.com for more quality contents.

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