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Freda's Foibles - Grief
by Freda Douglas I am not the type to linger over grief, or at least don't want to be maudlin about it around my friends. However I had a business acquaintance die in an accident last weekend. He and his wife both were cancer survivors, they loved each other very much, have a new home and he was very successful in what he did. It is not my place to question why this had to happen, but it did bring unhappy memories to the forefront. When I married Rollie in 1958 I knew he was in poor health, but that fact was overshadowed by my love for him. We had some rough times towards the end of his life, including the loss of both his legs caused by diabetes, but through it all God gave me strength. I thought I was prepared for his death when he died at 58, but I wasn't, and if it hadn't been for his sister I wouldn't have made it. But life must go on. I went to my job at the hospital, sold jewelry at night to pay for his funeral, spent a lot of time with his sister and gradually the sharp edge of pain and loneliness lessened. Then in 1983 I met John at a church meeting for widows and widowers. He was so nonchalant about meeting me, the next time we met he couldn't even remember my first name. The third time he took me to dinner and introduced me to his sister. The next time we both rode his motorcycle to Canadohta Lake to meet some friends. After we ate we took a walk to get better acquainted. Then we decided to head home, and that's when my life changed. We were traveling about 60 mph going up a steep hill outside of Union City when a large buck deer darted out of bushes and collided with the motorcycle. John had cuts and bruises; I was not so lucky. It was while I was in ICU that John proposed. I heard him, but I thought I had dreamed it. How could I be so lucky? We were married Nov. 18, 1983, moved to Florida and enjoyed life and each other til he died. John was diagnosed with cancer on Dec. 26, 2000 and died Feb. 26, 2001. I never really adjusted to John's death because I had no close family by that time and John had been my caregiver after I had a stroke in 1994. If you get a message from this article it is honor and cherish your spouse, no matter how many years you have been together. Love never dies it gets riper with age. When your spouse dies, love and memories are oftentimes all you have left. Don't cheat yourself. I never did, and although memories can't keep you warm, they will help when you are lonely. ******************************************** You can buy a new book from Freda Douglas "Winds of Change" at www.booklocker.com/books/3303.html If you suffer from high cholesterol, high blood pressure,fibromyalgia, or another form of arthritis call 256-796-0651 and I'll tell you what I use to get rid of prescription drugs. ******************************************** Freda Douglas is a published author. Her first book "Cherish the Past", still available on Amazon.com, was published in 2004. Her second book "Winds of Change" is now available at your local book store by using this ISBN # 978-1-60145-367-9 Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com |