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Contact Ruth Garnes


It does not have to be you

by Ruth Garnes  
1/13/2007 / Health


Have you ever felt, there are some things in life you simply cannot get away from, or as though, life events are like a Ferris wheel and you just cannot get off? Not only does an event seem familiar but so do conversations. Things you live through feel so memorable, pretty much as if the same things keep happening over and over. Well, I have had that experience a couple of times in my life. Although the events were not always identical, the effects these situations had on me and my responses were. My reaction to personal tragedy is predictable. I pretty much disregard the world around me and focus on the catastrophic event. Just a year ago my family was inundated with tragic news.

My sister-in-law called me from work, she sounded frantic. She had left my brother at home in bed. Micky had been having a persistent back pain for two weeks, which he had been trivializing. The pain had gotten to where over the- counter medication was not helping. He was only able to stand for exceedingly short period of time. She had tried unsuccessfully to get him to go to the doctor, until he had lost consciousness several times.

"Can you please talk to your brother? I do not know what else to do." I could hear fear and frustration in her voice and, from her tone; it was obvious that she was extremely worried. She had managed to get him to go to their family physician. When he was there, he led the doctor to believe he had strained a muscle. He was given a prescription for muscle-relaxers, and that was not working either. I suggested that they should go to an emergency room, as opposed to a doctor's office. After several more days, he conceded and went to the emergency room. Following physical examination and x-rays, the doctors came up with nothing. He was released and given a prescription for pain medication and a referral to have a MRI done.

The pain medication he received did extremely little for him, and with the x-rays not showing anything, Micky insisted that his pain was the result of a strained muscle. He was, therefore, adamant that a MRI was not necessary. He continued to lose consciousness and his pain increased.

The phone call came again, "Please talk to your brother."

I did! During that conversation, I agreed with him that there was probably nothing wrong with him. He, on the other hand, needed to prove that to his wife. She obviously needed reassurance. He agreed to have the MRI. Two days later he got the results. The MRI showed cancer of the spine. He expressed his appreciation for the precautionary measure he had taken. He was scheduled for surgery one week later.

The tumor was partially removed. It had encircled the spinalcord, and the surgeon was concerned that the removal of the entire tumor would cause paralysis. He was scheduled for radiation and therapy as another preventive measure after the surgery. This time he gladly conceded and made remarkable progress.

Upon discharge, his doctor instructed him not to lift more than fifteen pounds. For a few weeks, he did just as he was instructed. He reported to the family that his condition was nothing to worry about and that he would be back to himself in no time. During the Christmas season, he felt strong enough that he moved some furniture around. This all sounded too good to be true. Then, the all too- familiar phone call came again.

"I did not know what else to do, I tried to call the neurosurgeon, but it was a holiday weekend and he is not in. Your brother is not doing well. He is in bed vomiting, he is weak, and he has not eaten in two days. His arms and legs are weak. He is in pain, and the medication was not working."

Again, I recognized that familiar sound of anxiety in my sister-in-law's voice. It resounded often in my voice, in my sister's, in my mother's, in every woman who has stood in her place. Hers was the voice of a woman who feared losing not just her man, but her life partner and father of her children. His reaction was one of determination, denial and pride, something I had seen in other men and will probably see over and over again. This was what I call Dj vu. I had lost my older brother a few years before. Unlike Mickey, I could not persuade him to have that much needed medical evaluation. One night he had a seizure and asphyxiated. Mickey's doctors had explained to her that, without treatment, he would eventually have seizures.

We immediately began to associate the fate of the older brother with this brother's current condition. Not a single one of us willfully desire this kind of scenario, to be repeated. We were determined that he was going to live if we had to go to considerable lengths to get him to adhere to all the medical instructions he was given.

Yet, as I thought about my brothers, it dawned on me how typical this behavior was. How many times have we been told that smoking is associated with numerous fatal conditions? Yet millions continue to smoke. In the same light, it has been said numerous times that it is essential for women 35 years and older to receive yearly mammogram, for men age 40 and older to receive prostrate screening. However, a large number in this at-risk age range are noncompliant when it comes to acting in accordance with the recommended guidelines. So the probability that I may hear another frantic voice or another similar story, I would say is highly possible. With our busy lives, it has become more and more difficult to juggle preventive health measures into our life along with everything else. Perhaps, for that reason, when the unexpected comes along, we remain so ill prepared. Who has room in their life to take on one other thing? For this reason, preventative measures has taken on a whole new meaning for me.

Ruth Andrews Garnes was born in Belize the second of six children. She moved to New York City at age eighteen. It is her philosophy that we have all had some struggles in our life but as we share our experiences we may give wings to someone else who is in the midths of a crisis. As a nurse it is her

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