"It's too late. I always thought I'd have more time. I didn't realize how precious it was, till now. It's so easy to spend, fill and waste, but it's limited. I never realized that", Abigail said to her sister Alanna on the phone. She was completely stunned as she sat there looking out the window of her tiny apartment. There was so much yet that she wanted to do. To do, not accomplish or excel at, but do. "I want to get married, have a family, travel, learn to dance and go skydiving, I want to There's just so much!" she cried into the phone, tears falling down her face.
Alanna was equally stunned. "Are you sure? I mean doctors can make mistakes, have you gotten a second opinion?" She was trying to control the fear and trembling she felt.
"Yes, a second and a third. They all say the same thing six months at best. Of course we can pray, but I've been doing that all along and I still got the same prognosis. I just want more time! I've been working so hard to get where I am. I wanted to be the youngest woman to make partner. I've given up so much to achieve that. Oh sure, the money is great, but I just never realized the cost. I haven't dated, traveled, bought a home, or anything else I wanted to do. I don't even own a cat, for pity's sake! I just thought I'd have more time!"
"Abigail, I don't know what to say! How can this be happening? How can I lose my sister?" Alanna was openly crying now, overwhelmed by the sorrow she felt. I have to get control of myself and be strong for Abby, she thought. "What can I do for you? I mean of course I'll pray, but is there anything else I can do to help? I love you and I'll do anything for you," she said, taking a big breath.
"I don't know. I'm leaving the firm immediately. Money's not an object, that's the one thing I have plenty of. I guess now it's just a matter of time. Time, there's that word again! I'm through waiting! Doesn't the Bible say something about 'redeem the time'? Well, I'm not going to just lie down and feel sorry for myself and wait for the end. I may not have long to live, but I will LIVE the time that I have! I know I'm ready to meet my Savior, but I'm not ready to leave this life, to leave you and mom and dad. Oh, I can't bear telling them!"
"When are you going to tell them?" asked Alanna, still trying to control her tears. "I wish I were closer so I could be with you. I wish I could spend more time with you!"
"I need to tell them right away. This is going to hurt them so badly. They're going to need to lean on you. Help them to see that God has a plan. And Alanna, I need you. I'm going to start living before I die. Will you join me? I have plenty of money to pay for both of us, but I want to do things and go places. I'm sure Steven won't mind. Can we go away for a while? Just the two of us?"
"Oh Abby, I wish I could. It's not Steven, of course he wouldn't mind. It's just I can't leave the ministry. This place would really fall apart without me. I can only get away for a week or so. But you can come here and visit me and we can spend time together when I'm not working. Besides you should rest now. Keep your strength up, so that you'll have more time with us. Please understand."
"Of course. I have to call Mom and Dad." Abigail responded, hanging up. She realized Alanna's work in the ministry was just like her work at the firm all-consuming. She never took time away from it to actually enjoy the life God had given her.
Sadly, Abigail prayed, "Oh Lord, help her to see that there is so much more to life than work, even if that work is for You. Help her to realize that her time here is limited and You came to give us life more abundantly, not just work. Open her eyes Lord, so she doesn't make the same mistake I did."
Lauryn Abbott is a wife and mother, with a passion for writing and a zest for life. Her writing has always been a private passion, but recently the Lord has been urging her to make it public. More of her writing can be found on her Seed Thoughts blog at: