Marriage: Change of Attitude = Change of Heart
by Angie Lewis 1/22/2007 / Marriage
How can we concentrate more on the blessings of our marriage? How can we discover the goodness in the person we married? By focusing on what brings contentment and happiness. For instance, just a simple switch in attitude can make a person have more compassion for the person they married. We have to stop believing in the lies we hear.
The world likes to feed gullible people things that aren't true. Some people are susceptible to these untruths because they want to believe them. I wanted to believe them and I did believe them. We want answers to our marriage problems and we'll practically listen to anyone who has something to say that we want to hear. Anything that will provide the validation we need for our own rotten actions. Over time, believing in the lies of the world builds an unhealthy attitude in us. I receive emails from women who actually believe that their husband committed adultery because of something they did or didn't do. This is a lie generated from the world. It is incorrect.
Unhealthy attitudes keep us stuck and trapped in our sins. Our sins are whatever we live for and whatever is controlling us. Unhealthy attitudes steer us away from God's love and into the follies and sinfulness of the world. But if we are following Jesus than we are truly free from the lies of the world. God's children do not search for their answers from the world. That is what those who have no understanding do. They believe in the lies of the world and that is why they are often referred to as blind. Wisdom comes from God because God is wisdom.
About thirteen years ago I was blind in my marriage. My husband and I had some daily struggles and then we had some real treacherous issues that kept me from seeking out God for my personal issues. I didn't think my drinking was a personal issue because I blamed my husband for my drinking, so it was his problem not mine. We separated several times just because things were not going the way "I" wanted. I told myself more lies. The biggest lie I was told from the world and one that I believed for many years was that I was not happy because of the man I married. Could a different man make me happy? I don't think so! Happiness comes from within. I made myself unhappy by believing in the lies.
The root of my marriage problems was not alcohol, was not selfishness, and was not my negative emotions. It was that I did not know God. That is probably the root of your marriage problems too. When we don't have any real foundation to base our marital problems on we are like chickens running around with our head cut off. We don't really know what we are doing. We think we do, but we don't. As long as we keep believing in the lies we will continue to run amok, basing our marriage upon our own understanding and we'll remain unhappy and unsatisfied with the person we married.
I can honestly say with out a doubt in my mind, that it doesn't have to be like this. Come all of you who are heavy laden with burdens. Strip them off your back and ask God to come into your life and start living for the Light of the World. Jesus Christ can change your attitude like He did mine. Change of Attitude = Change of Heart. This is the only way we can start focusing on the goodness of the person we married and start living for our marriage in the way that God intended.
So how can we determine what is and isn't truth?
A voice came from the cloud, saying, "This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him. (Luke 9:35 NIV)