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The Golden Rule of Relationships-

by Angela Willingham  
9/20/2009 / Relationships


I feel like my spirit has been in a position of automatic forgiveness this week. Nothing seemed to bother me or be able to get me engaged in behavior or an attitude that would force me to have to seek forgiveness for not forgiving someone else and it was a rough week.

Car accident
No available rental cars
Missed meeting with my pastor and his wife
Poor directions to an offsite meeting
Unreturned calls to my business partner
Crazy situations at work and then it happened.........another test from one of my biggest foes

The people and the situations are not our enemies. God is testing, training and equipping us. I did not get to this point in my life by accident, I have been through God's boot camp on this one.

Forgiveness was necessary for Jesus to fulfill His purpose of salvation and it is necessary if we are going to fulfill our purposes as well. It is necessary for us to be good:
Christians
Spouses
Parents
Friends
Co-workers
Witnesses for Christ
You might say, but I am not Jesus. You don't know what happened. You don't understand what they did to me. You don't know how much it hurt. You don't understand-they did it on purpose. I know. I do understand, but better than that God understands. In Matthew 18:33-35 the bible says, 33 Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?' 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. 35 "That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters[a] from your heart."
If you want to be forgiven, forgive. In your eyes they may not deserve forgiving, but if we look at some of the things we have done we may find that we don't deserve forgiving either, but God has chosen to forgive us. Our perfect example is found in the example of Jesus. His purpose is to provide salvation for us. Did we deserve His sacrifice? No! He went to the cross for our sins, yet as the pain was shooting through His physical body, He said (Luke 23:34), "Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing."[a]

Everything that was done to Jesus was done on purpose, they knew what they were doing, they may not have really known, who they were doing it to. Your children, spouses, significant others, co-workers, family and friends, may not really understand who you are either. The people that have mistreated you may not know what they are doing either, but if you want to fulfill your purpose you are going to have to forgive them.

As a pastor, who was sent to shepherd the flock and cover them in prayer, you will have to forgive them if you want to fulfill your purpose and be a good pastor.
As a pastor's wife, who was sent to encourage your spouse and speak life to the body of Christ he or she is overseeing, you have watched your spouse mistreated, by unreasonable demands and expectations on your family, if you want to fulfill your purpose and be a good, supportive spouse to your mate and also remain an encouragement to the congregation you have been assigned to you will have to forgive them.
As a parent, who provides protection, shelter and food and clothing, you have been rejected, ignored, talked back to, embarrassed and disrespected, but if you want to fulfill your purpose and be a good parent you are going to have to forgive them.
As a spouse, who loves, encourages, ministers to and prays for your mate, you have been cheated on, spoken down to, neglected, emotionally and physically mistreated, watch them spend all the money, you know he or she is the man or woman God called you to, if you want to fulfill your purpose as a spouse you will have to forgive them. If you want to reach the place God called you to as a kingdom couple ministering to other couples that are going through the same mess you are, you are going to have to forgive them.
As a co-worker, sent to encourage and pray for the company, to share your creative ideas and suggestions, you have been gossiped about, lied on, reprimanded for things you did not do, talked down to and treated as if you were clueless, but if you want to fulfill your assignment in that place, to be elevated to the next place God has for you, you will have to forgive them.
As a business partner, things may not always go your way, you may find things not moving at all based on one decision or another, but if you know that is the business and the partnership God has called you to, you are going to have to forgive to fulfill your purpose.
As a Christian and a witness for Christ, you will experience some things that are just plain unfair to the human mind, but knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose, you are going to have to forgive them.

You may be saying, you still don't get it, they keep doing the same thing over and over and over again. My question to you is what about you? Is there a sin that you have had to ask God for forgiveness for more than once? Is that any different than what you are describing? You knew it was a sin, but you did it anyway. The question was asked how often should we forgive? The biblical answer is found in (Matthew 18:21-22), 21 Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone[a] who sins against me? Seven times?" 22 "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven![b] What is your personal answer? How often do you want to be forgiven?

Forgiveness does not mean the person or situation you are dealing with is correct. It means that you have decided not to hold resentment, to let it go, to pardon them, just like God has done for you.

Take a minute and think of somebody that you are in relationship with that you know you are holding a grudge against. Somebody you need to forgive. You have not forgiven them and you need to. Maybe it was:

The spouse that cheated on you or divorced you. Maybe they left you for someone else.
Maybe it was the family member that molested you.
Maybe it was the child that never showed any appreciation after all of your sacrifice.
Maybe it is the person at your job that lied and cheated to get your position or have you fired.
Maybe it is the parent that gave you up for adoption.
Maybe it is the person that took advantage of the love you had to offer, knowing they did not love you in return.
Maybe it is the person that left you to raise the children alone with no help.
Maybe it is some past experience that keeps playing over and over in your head that needs to be released. Maybe you need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for some past sin or bad attitude. Forgive yourself for doing what you did because you thought you had to have whatever it was by any means necessary. Stealing someone else's spouse, making money to support your family, maybe you were the one that lied and cheated or used sex to make it to what you thought was the top.

You need to release yourself and release them, just like you want God to release you. Take a minute to pray for yourself in this area. God may not reveal everything to you today. Forgiveness is a process. First you have to realize that there is a problem, then decide to forgive, finally work through the feelings with the help of the Holy Spirit and seek His guidance to release them. You may not feel like it is released automatically, so don't beat yourself up if you don't. Some of the stuff we have gone through and dealt with is deep rooted and through the love and ministry of the Holy Spirit, the Word of God and loving fellowship of other believers we can overcome.

Scripture:

Matthew 18:21-22

21 Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone[a] who sins against me? Seven times?" 22 "No, not seven times," Jesus replied, "but seventy times seven![b]

Angela Willingham, CEO New Beginnings Holistic Fitness Ministries, Inc.
www.mynewtemple.org
Copyright New Beginnings Holistic Fitness Ministries, Inc.

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