I was glad that my wife and I had three boys. I always joked that I would be the dad that carried a pair of pliers in my back pocket to take care of any boys who showed even the slightest amorous hint toward a daughter of mine; or looked at her with any kind of sexual over (or under) tone.
Scratch that thought, I have unfortunately bred a fourteen year old, six-foot-three-inch, chic magnet. The ooh's and ah's from women when he was a lanky little seven year old red haired cutie should have been some indicator of the problems to come.
Mind you, this isn't my opinion, that my son's myspace photos are the object of multiple dozens of different girls whose comments range from the casual "You're so cuuuuute," to the brazen sexual proposition of loosely-moraled young girls, are obvious indicators. Oh, and he's a musician, a guitar player, no less.
So, what do we do now? Maybe you are in the same boat as a parent. You have a son or daughter that, either by design or just by genetics, is becoming "sexy". How do we help our children grow, feel confident with their identity and help them balance this tricky and dangerous time in their lives? Is there hope for purity for your kid in a culture that cannot differentiate between "attractive" and "sexy"?
In this series of articles, I will propose three important ideas about this topic. I say I will propose them because I am at the beginning of this journey with my first son and I honestly don't know how this will work out. I will also welcome any ideas, thoughts and/or concepts from parents who have navigated their way, successfully or unsuccessfully, through this mine field.
Also, if you are a teenager who has reached this place in your life, or already went through it, please feel free to comment about what you think a parent could do to be a help to their teen. What are you facing? How does your culture hurt or help when it comes to being "sexy"?
The first article will be "Is There A Difference Between Attractive and Sexy?"
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2009. Armando Heredia
Armando serves as co-pastor of Tapestry in Granite City, IL and is an artist and author.