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When Loving God Hurts, That's When Loving God Matters The Most....

by Shannon Heiden  
1/16/2010 / Devotionals


The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)

Beautiful One, what happens to us when we've been through a crisis and we weren't completely healed from it and we tried to move on? But in our moving on, because we weren't healed, we ended up making huge mistakes along the way. Mistakes that we cannot believe were possible for us to make.

Have you ever done something that you thought you would never do? Have you ever denied and violated your own principles and beliefs. Maybe no one knows about it, but you do, and you know God does. But because you've done it, you feel like you don't deserve the grace and love you once freely and unashamedly received. You hear a voice saying, "you knew better, now you've done it!" So you allow the pain to fester, you're silently suffering while going about life, trying to do the best you can.

Beautiful One, your forgetting something. Your best will never be good enough, just as your worst will never be so bad, that you can't recover. Sometimes being a Christian hurts. We have this unspoken expectation of ourselves, God, and others, that when met with any challenges that questions these expectations, it causes us to fear that it's all not as good as we once believed. Our hope and confidence fades as pain takes its toll and we become weary.

To add insult to injury, when it is us that falls short, we tend to be so unforgiving of ourselves. We begin to think everyone feels negatively towards us, including God. Maybe some will feel that way, let's face it, everyone has an opinion, but God, He's not like us, not at all. Why is it that we think because we are a Christian we have it all together? We most certainly don't. But we like to think we do. Maybe you've never made mistakes in your pain, and have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe you really haven't gone through anything substantial in life to know the depth of where I'm going with this. But thats OK, keep reading, keep on living, because somewhere on the journey we each are going to encounter a season where we have been found wanting.

Life happens to us all. And because we bear the name "Child of God," does not negate the fact that trials of monumental proportions may come our way.

Maybe you think, that just wont happen to me. I live for God, love him and serve him with all my heart. I do too and while doing it, life unfolded before my very eyes. Maybe you have a good strong marriage, I had one too or so I thought until I found out my husband was looking for a sexual encounter in a local newspaper and am now facing life on my own. Maybe you have children who you have reared and raised in the Lord, I do too but that didn't stop one from becoming a lesbian, and another one from running away and doing drugs. Maybe you have a beautiful home, I did too, until I had to leave it for self preservation and integrity. Maybe You have Christian friends who you fellowship daily with, I did too, but that doesn't mean they could possibly comprehend the magnitude of pain I was facing. Maybe you know your purpose in life, and are on the road to reaching it, I was too until everything turned for the worst, and now I'm in a state of uncertainty like never before.

Beautiful One, just because we are Christians doesn't mean we wont encounter the problems of the world, it only means we have full access to a God who loves, forgives and heals us, and promises to walk it out with us. I am living proof that you can be in the complete will of God and still encounter hardship and heartache. I now know what Job was talking about when He said, the Lord gives and He takes away. It is possible to know such true blessing, and at the same time endure true loss. I now know what Peter felt when He denied the Lord, and warmed himself by the enemies fire.

I now know somewhat of what Jesus must have felt, when He stood before his accusers being accused of horrible untrue things and He said not a word. I now know what it means to know him in the power of his resurrection, and "the fellowship of his suffering." When loving God hurts, is when loving God matters the most. When a faint whisper escapes your lips in the midst of unimaginable pain and an utterance can be heard- I still believe....Thats when our Christian life finds it's true purpose, its true meaning.

Yes, sometimes being a Christian hurts because sometimes believing hurts. Believing means having hope again, and the thought of going through one more heartache, one more let down just seems to much to bear. When we have been victimized unjustly and been our own worst enemy, when loving God hurts, that's when loving him matters most.

Beautiful One, he didn't just rescue us from our past. He rescued us from today and tomorrow and all of eternity. Believe it or not, He knows every detail of your life, even the things you don't. He's a great God, who has great understanding, compassion, and mercy. He is faithful even when we're not. He knows why you've done the things you have, and he also knows how sorry you are for it. He will never be more closer to you, then when you are brokenhearted.

God knew all of your story, every chapter, every paragraph and sentence, for it was He who wrote it. Forgive yourself, cling to him, believe Him and love him, even if it hurts. Because that's when it matters the most!

Beautiful One, just believe!

Shannon Heiden
[email protected]
changingonelifereachingmany.typepad.com

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