I was never a worrier. I always thought I had it together. As a Christian I knew God loved me and would take care of me.
Then I began to notice that my life was out of control. Nothing specific happened to make me notice; I just realized things weren't going the way they were supposed to. I was worried about almost everything and any little thing that happened became a huge obstacle that I was too exhausted to tackle.
My life was falling apart little by little and I couldn't seem to do anything about it. I began to wake up in the middle of the night trying to figure out what to do and how everything had gone so wrong in such a short time. The more I worried and tried to figure everything out, the worse it got.
Then in my morning Bible reading I read King David's words, "I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart". (Psalm 38:8 NLT)
That was how I felt! I was continually in pain. Always confused. Crying out to God.
David, king of Israel, knew this feeling too? What did he do? What was his solution?
David continues, "For I confess my iniquity; I am full of anxiety because of my sin" (Psalm 38:18 NAS).
I don't know which specific sin David confessed, but as I thought about those words I began to understand that I was causing my own pain. Sin in my life was damaging my relationship with my Father. As I drifted further and further from Him I felt more and more lost and alone. The sin I needed to confess was that I was not allowing God to be in control. I needed to surrender control to Him, turn around and run back to His waiting arms.
Once David realized that his sin was causing him pain and admitted his guilt before God, he said, "I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along." (Psalm 40:1-2 NLT).
God has lifted me from the pit of despair too. He has set my feet on solid ground and steadies me as I walk through this life He has set before me.
But I had to surrender first and allow Him complete control.
It has been hard at times and it's amazing some of the things I had to let go that I didn't even know I was holding on to.
I have learned to listen to God's quiet gentle voice and wait for His direction. I now know Who to go to for help and guidance. I no longer make choices without seeking His council first. I have learned to trust my Father with small areas of my life as well as with major decisions.
What about you? Are you worried, stressed, trying to figure out what's going on and why everything's out of control?
Maybe everything's out of control because God is not in control.