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Facts Of Life
by Marilyn Schnepp
3/09/2010 / Parenting
"Son, let me tell you about the facts of life", I began solemnly....
"No, No Honey!" my wife interruped. "Not THAT way! You've got to Lure him in with something tantalizing - like you do when you go fishing. But instead of wiggly worm bait, hook him with one of your tall tales."
"You want me to lie to my very own son?" I said with mock horror.
"No, Silly", she grinned, "I don't mean those kind of tall tales, I mean something clever like the old Birds and Bees routine. But do something soon, BEFORE he gets indoctrinated with the gutter version... Please!"
She was right, of course; but, this wasn't going to be easy. For one thing, I didn't know the Birds and Bees story myself - so how was I going to explain it to my son!
By the time my father had gotten around to "hem-ing and haw-ing" around about the facts of Life and girls, I had already been clued in by the back alley boys...so I never did get to hear how that story went down.
For the next couple of days I pondered and agonized over the difficult task that I had been delegated to handle.
Food, clothing and shelter for our son was a "given"; providing love, protection, discipline and assisting my wife in teaching our son right from wrong was a given; but this Birds and Bees thing was a whole new ballgame...and I was going to need help - "Big Time" help!
Then a Light Bulb went "ON" in my head! God, the Creator of Life itself! Who better to ask for help on the Facts of Life than the One who created it!
That night I had a long chat with my life-long friend AND Expert on every aspect of Life.
"God, I've had no problems showing the lad the Robin's nest hidden up in the bough of the tree, or explaining the creepy, crawly caterpillar that You turn into a beautiful butterfly every Spring, or explaining to him that his pet frog was once a tiny tadpole in a mountain stream.
"And, Lord, we've had great fun, my son and I, tracking down Your Lady Bugs, Lightening Bugs and four-leaf clovers while walking through Your meadows and fields. We've even spent hours searching Your skies for a glimpse of Your colorful rainbow after a storm.
"Nature has answered many of my little guy's questions, but I've had a few "Biggies" left over like...."Why is the sky blue, Daddy? What makes the wind howl?, or Where do the stars go when God turns on the light?
"Ah yes, Lord, I admit having a tendency to stretch the imagination a bit with my far-fetched answers; but knowing fathers, Lord, especially Earthling fathers, You know we try to answer our "little ones" questions even though we haven't a clue, just to save face, I guess. I know You would call it pride.
"Well, this time Lord, I'm really stumped. I've got to tell my son the facts of life and I'm stymied. I haven't a clue how Birds and Bees mate. What am I going to say? I've never been eloquent in my speech, and I'm slow of tongue, so what am I to do?"
Then I heard God's voice leap right out of the Holy Bible: "Who gave man his mouth? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, I will help you speak and will teach you what to say".(Ex 4:10 NIV)
* * *
Sunday was Father's Day, so my son and I hiked up to Oak Mountain, laid out a picnic lunch at the top of the mountain, and under God's azure blue sky - this earthly father and son had a heart to heart chat about Life...with dialogue scenes produced and directed under the watchful eye of man's Creator.
Later, as my son and I walked down the other side of the mountain on our way home, I glanced up to heaven and said, "Happy Father's Day to You too, Father"...and with that, my son reached up a small hand, connecting with my larger one...and together we gave a resounding High-Five to our Father in heaven.
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