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Retiring The Alarm Clock
by Marilyn Schnepp
3/09/2010 / Career
Contact Marilyn Schnepp
The day began as usual - with the irritating sound of a "Brrrrrrrrr.." emanating from the alarm clock beside my bed. However, this morning I had a surprise for that annoying nuisance. In one swift motion I reached over, picked up the offending noise-maker in mid-"brrr", hurled it at top speed across the room; then listened with sadistic glee as it smashed into the far wall, crumpled and fell with a muffled "thud" onto the carpet below!
Satisfied by the silence, I pulled the covers up over my head and tried desperately to recapture the dream that had been so rudely interrupted; but as usual the handsome Knight in shining armor had vanished. But No More! As of today, I'm retired!
It was almost noon when I finally got out of bed, fixed myself some breakfast....no! I believe they call this "brunch" in high society...fixed myself some brunch and made a few telephone calls to brag about my newly acquired status as a "Lady of Leisure".
Satisfied that I had made friends and ex-co-workers envious of my new found freedom, I pirouetted gaily down the hall to make my bed, shower and prepare for whatever "ladies of leisure" do; but as I entered the bedroom, I stopped dead in my tracks! There, lying face down on the carpet was "Old Faithful", bent, bruised and broken...but amazingly still ticking!
Immediately a battle ensued within me! What to do? One part of me suggested I finish him off permanently! Kick him, destroy him while he's down! Satisfy your life long vendetta to escape from his incessant pestering!
I can't remember the exact date his obnoxious "brrrrrrring" replaced my mother's cheery "Good Morning, Sunshine, rise and shine"; but I do know that from that day forward (with the exception of Military boot camp, when a loud-mouthed Sergent did the honors) , that pesky Alarm Clock never gave me a moments peace!
That clock bugged me all through high school and continued to hound and harass me through thirteen states, twenty eight cities, umpteen jobs, a husband and two kids with it's relentless Ringing, Ringing, Ringing! Oh, how I hated that clock!
However, the "other" side of me couldn't escape the truth. If it hadn't been for that pesky alarm clock I wouldn't have graduated, I'd never been able to keep a job, wouldn't have made it to appointments, made the bus or train, or even made it to the church on time to say my "I do's"!
If I only lived on a farm I wouldn't have this decision to make! When farmers get irritated at their Alarm Clocks a.k.a, "Cockadoodle-do's", they take the easy way out and have barbecued Rooster for supper, right?
Sigh. But here I am in the big city, standing over my life-long nemesis with the cold hard facts tugging at my conscience. I wouldn't be retiring today if it hadn't been for his irritating, annoying, nagging and incessant, but faithful "brrrrrrrrring"!
Another big Sigh
What else could I do? Truth won out and I'd have to rescue the little guy. I bent down and gently picked him up. After scotch taping the multi-cracked face, straightening out the bent "second" hand, tightening the loose knobs on the back, I dusted him off and replaced him on the night stand from whence he came.
Looking through the strips of tape that now blurred his face, I watched the second hand wobble unsteadily as it struggled to make its rounds over and through all twelve familiar numbers without missing a beat.
Satisfied that my "amateurish band-aiding" was going to hold - I turned and headed for the shower....and that's when I heard it! A sound! A rather strange and almost inaudible sound coming from the night stand. It was a faint "purrrrrring" sound...like that of a contented kitten.
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