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First Class to Emmaus

by geoff anderson  
9/25/2006 / Skits and Plays

(Two teenage girls are on a train. In the UK, there are 1st Class carriages on trains.)


JANE -- Hey Roz, we can't sit here - this carriage is 1st Class. We'll be arrested!

ROZ -- Dont be silly, Jane. All you do is say you're sorry and they move you on down the train.

JANE -- But theres a guitar here what if these seats have been reserved by some famous rock star?

ROZ -- Jane, be serious. Rock stars dont travel by train. They have their own helicopters and private jets. Can you imagine Bobby Jax sitting here, reading the paper and nodding off like some ordinary passenger?

JANE -- I thought we werent going to mention his name ever again?

ROZ -- Who, you mean Bobby Jax? Did I really say Bobby Jax without throwing up?

JANE -- You just said it twice more. You mustnt. Its all over now. Hes gone. BJ is history. Fantastic history, but history all the same.

ROZ -- Sorry, Jane, I just cant help it. The name, its part of me now, it's in my bones. Ive lived and breathed Bobby Jax for as long as I can remember.

JANE -- Yes and thats fine, cos thats what he IS now, a memory.

ROZ -- Yeah, but what a memory! Rock at its best. Hard songs that ripped apart the pretensions of our so-called civilised society

JANE -- I know, I know, he was the greatest. He was a lot of things but now hes

ROZ -- I just wish I knew why, Jane. WHY? WHY? (head drops down)


MAN -- (tentatively to Jane) Er, you know you could be in trouble if the ticket inspector

JANE -- Yeah all right, well move on but cant you see my mates upset?

MAN -- Im sorry, whats wrong can I help?

JANE -- I doubt it. Not unless youre a close friend of Bobby Jax...

MAN -- Why, has Jax hurt your friend?

JANE -- Not just her. All of us who loved his music and what he stood for. We loved him, we worshipped him and now, well, its all over.

MAN -- Is he dead?

JANE -- Might as well be. Have you heard his new album?

MAN -- Is it that bad?

ROZ -- (raising her head for the first time) Bad doesnt begin to describe it. We could take bad. Nobodys perfect. But this, its... its...

JANE -- Hes betrayed us, its as simple as that. He built us up

ROZ -- - and now hes smashed us down.

MAN -- Come on, you must be exaggerating.

ROZ -- Exaggerating? Do you know what its called? Rising With The Sun.

MAN -- Well?

ROZ -- Rising with the Sun! Its... hes... hes gone... I cant say it. You tell him.

JANE -- (as if she is swallowing poison) Country!!!

MAN -- Country? Hes gone Country?

JANE -- Country, yeah.

ROZ -- I keep thinking Im dreaming. Its a horrible nightmare and Ill wake up.

MAN -- Youre going to have to explain.

ROZ -- In Country music, you see, theres no rebelling against your parents, no kicking against authority, no slaughtering of sacred cows

JANE -- Its all love your Mom and Pop, how green is my valley and the joys of home cooking. THAT is NOT Bob Jax!

ROZ -- What makes it worse is, he hid himself away to make this album. It was going to be his definitive statement!

JANE -- Many of our mates think hes dead. Hes dead and theyre issuing any old rubbish in his name to make a quick buck.

ROZ -- Yeah, I mean, it doesnt even SOUND like him...

MAN -- But surely, hes been SEEN recently?

ROZ -- Oh yeah, a few heartbroken fans reckon to have seen him a strange figure with short hair and no beard!

JANE -- As if Bobby would ever cut his hair!

MAN -- You two really are STUPID, dyou know?

JANE -- Hey, hang on!

MAN -- And you say you were his fans. You loved him! Cant you see that this was bound to happen?

ROZ -- Eh?

JANE -- Jax was bound to go Country?

ROZ -- And youre calling US stupid?!

MAN -- There are so many clues in his earlier works. Whats his greatest album?

JANE -- Chapter 24 Revisited of course.

MAN -- OK, and whats it about?

ROZ -- Urban squalor. The failure of civilisation.

MAN -- So, if the city has failed us, wheres the obvious place to go?

ROZ -- (still not understanding) I dont follow...

MAN -- What else is Chapter 24 Revisited about?

ROZ -- The emptiness and absurdity of life.

MAN -- Of ALL life?

JANE -- No, of life lived to satisfy greed

ROZ -- He couldnt stand the crass commercialism of the music industry

JANE -- (to R) Remember their faces at the Mercury Awards when he turned over the tables with all the trophies on!

MAN -- So because of that, you think he came to destroy everything?

ROZ -- Well

MAN -- What did you expect, that hed take over the world or something?

JANE -- Well no but

MAN -- Cant you see he was leading you somewhere? What would be the point of just going round destroying everything? Is that really what you liked about him?

ROZ -- No of course not, but

MAN -- He was leading you somewhere. You call it Country. Id call it a BETTER country. Where a mothers love is valued more highly than a fat pay cheque. Where respect for Gods Creation has a higher priority than raping the earth for profit. Where the sun reflecting off the sea at sunrise gives you a greater high than drugs. You were his fans. You should have trusted him. You should have believed in him. Anyway, this is my stop (gets up and goes to leave, guitar by his side)

JANE -- (gets up and follows him) Cant you stay here with us?

ROZ -- (gets up and joins Jane) Yeah, please stay and talk some more.

MAN -- Alright, Ill sing you a song from BJs new album. (picks up his guitar with a flourish)

(The two girls turn away from the Man in a frantic state of excitement)

JANE -- Roz! Did you see the way he picked up his guitar?

ROZ -- Theres only one person who does that!

J&R -- (together, still with their backs turned) It's Bobby Jax!! (now they turn and find he's gone)

J&R -- (together in horror) Hes GONE!!

JANE -- (sits on his seat) He was HERE! He sat on this seat!

ROZ -- He SPOKE to us, Jan we felt his BREATH on our faces!

JANE -- How could we have been so stupid?! Wasnt it fantastic when he explained everything to us? It was all so obvious! What were we thinking?!

ROZ -- (suddenly realising) JAN! Weve got to tell the others! They think hes dead weve got to tell them


ROZ -- And that Rising With The Sun is

J&R -- (together) THE GREATEST !!!!!!!

English. Masters in French. Retired parish priest. Associate Writer with Redemptorist Publications (Anglican Dept). Also published in Church Times and BBC 'Book of the Future'. UK tour manager of Russian Orthodox 6-person choir. Works copyright of Geoff Anderson in perpetuity. Contact [email protected].

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