How Dating Deceives Christians
by Angie Lewis 3/30/2010 / Dating
A few days ago a Christian woman told me that she was tricked into marrying her husband. He portrayed himself as a Christian to her during the dating period. Do you know why this happens? It happens because she did not really get to know him on the inside. He talked a good talk and impressed her with false words and once they were married he became a different person to her. Dating teaches us to only see and hear what we want to see and hear and nothing else.
Have you ever watched the show called "keeping Up Appearances"? It is a very well made British comedy about a middle-aged, boastful housewife who tries to appear as something she is not. She wants to look wealthy to others and she does whatever she can to keep up that appearance. She spends her days trying to impress people of higher status than herself. Those who really know her such as her family, friends and neighbors know her real character qualities but she deceives many other people into believing she is high up on the social ladder and wealthy to boot.
People Are Not What They Appear
Today you will "go out on a date" with people who put on airs and are not what they seem. They are so good at "keeping up appearances that they will trick people into marrying them. Only their close friends, family and God know them for who they really are. Don't let yourself become deceived through impressive talk of a boaster because you will be sadly disappointed.
The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD look at the heart. (1 Samuel 17:7)
If we want a marriage that will last then we need to look for the deep inner qualities of a person that we are regarding as a possible marriage candidate. Besides that, Christians need to be patient, pray about a lifetime commitment with this person and wait on God's guidance. Whatever happened to seeking someone with commitment and devotion to God, who is trustful and filled with integrity and who values the inner beauty of a person?
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)
Many of us have been conditioned into believing that we have to have sex with every person that we feel somewhat attracted to. Many times all we see is how someone looks and other outward appearances. How trite is that? It's perfectly fine to appreciate someone's outward appearance but we must also go deeper and look for the inner character of a person and see if we can also appreciate their inner beauty too? Christians need to wizen up and get to know a person for who they really are.
Dating Uses Other Sexually and Emotionally
Having sex is a beautiful part of life and should be enjoyed by all married couples. God wants us to enjoy a healthy sexual appetite with the person we married, not with strangers we are not going to marry. How many times have you met someone and it developed into a sexual relationship? How many people have you dated that you did NOT give away your heart, body and emotions to?
"For this is the will of God, even your sanctification (set apart), that ye should abstain from fornication. That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel (body) in sanctification and honour. Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the gentiles which know not God. That no man go beyond (arouse sexual lust in another) and defraud his brother in any matter: because the Lord is the avenger of such, as we also have forewarned you and testified." (1 Thessalonians 4:1-7)
How does having sex help you get to know a person? Christians do not need to arouse passion and lust in one another to figure out if they will make a suitable marriage spouse or not. Becoming intimate with someone is not going to prepare you for marriage, but will in fact destroy any chances of the relationship becoming based on real love and respect for one another. Having sex will destroy the sanctity of any relationship.
Dating Teaches People that Feelings of Lust is Love
How does dating teach people that lust is love? More and more marriages are falling apart because a spouse or both spouses think they have "fallen out of love". Have they really fallen out of love or have they fallen out of lust? In dating there are three things involved. You meet them. You desire them. You date (have sex with) them. It takes only a feeling to decide you are ready to move on and find another person to arouse sexually. Sadly this is happening in marriage too.
Marriage has become for couples just another date. There is no commitment and no real love to speak of. How does dating someone prepare couples for a lifetime commitment to marriage? Couples need to understand that love is always something that one does and is not a feeling but an action. Dating deceives Christians because everything about it is a deception. Sincere Christians who want a healthy lifetime marriage should not date.