How to Prepare for a Lifetime Marriage
by Angie Lewis 4/12/2010 / Christian Living
Many people jump into marriage blindly. They have blinders over their eyes that keep them from understanding how valuable and sacred marriage is. They jump into marriage as if it were their first puppy love date. They in fact perceive marriage to be something it is not. The consequences that result from this impulsive behavior are disastrous.
Know that Marriage Belongs to God
Did you know that even the unbelieverās marriage belongs to God? Thatās because God created, designed and established every aspect of marriage and just because some people do not go by the principles of Godās design for marriage doesnāt mean God is not watching whatās happening in their marriage.
Many people when they get married have this silly idea that their spouse will cater to their every whim and that they will continually be swept off their feet. But this notion is a misconception and totally false. The Cinderella, Prince Charming fairytale doesnāt last, not in any marriage. But with God at the helm of your marriage it can certainly be a loving and caring union filled with happiness and many blessings.
The truth is marriage was created for the Creator. It is not ours to do whatever we please with and this is why many marriages today do not have Godās blessings in their marriage. Marriage takes giving of each other and humbleness, just like Christ gave himself up for us! It takes loving actions and behaviors just as Christ loves us! As you can clearly see without applying Christ-like principles in our marriage we will suffer for it.
Know What Love is BEFORE Getting Married
Love is not that first puppy love feeling. Love is not the lust you feel for someone on your second date. Love is not that deep desire you have for someone else other than who you are married to. Love is not a feeling but an action!! Not that you canāt feel loved by your spouse or significant other but that true love takes Christ-like principles to complete it, such as forgiveness, submission, kindness, appreciation, caring, and selfless acts, even when you donāt feel like doing these things.
To be able to fully love another in the way Christ loves us is to realize the power of the Holy Spirit within you and then pray for Christ to help you be a good spouse. Jesus Christ is here nowā"He lives within you! There is no waiting for Him to show up on shiny horse in the cloudsā"the Kingdom of Heaven is within you! For the Christian Jesus Christ is our King now!! Loving your spouse in the right ways will not be easy if you are still living to please yourself. We should be living to please God through Jesus Christ.
For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. (Romans 14:17)
Know What Your Role is in the Marriage BEFORE Getting Married
Scripture clearly lets us know what a wifeās and husbandās role is in marriage. But couples continue to confuse these two roles and when they do they are rebelling against Godās design for them in Marriage. God is the Creator of marriage and we are the creationā"that means we are to manage our marriage in the way that God created and designed us to manage it and let the Creator direct the marriage and be our Guide! We need to stop acting like we are God in our marriage. We need to take ourselves off the pedestal and put God on there where He belongs!
Two bulls in the same pen will not work, nor will two cows. What works best, and is the design for marriage, are a bull and a cow. Someone must take charge and responsibility for the spiritual aspects and proper function of the marriage, lest there will be problems. And according to God and history that role has always been given to the bull and the buck. God made Adam head over Eve, not as a demanding dictator but as a loving protector and provider. Husbands are to love their wives in the same way Christ loves us! If you still donāt know how to do that go back to the āknow what love is before getting marriedā section of this article.
So the bottom line is if youāre going to get married some day, know who the Creator of marriage is and realize that marriage is for Godās purpose and not our own. Letās please God with our marriages. And if you are already married then start loving your spouse! Be love! Be responsible and start taking care of Godās marriage. Be committed and devoted to your marriage no matter what. Ask Jesus to help you be a loving and caring spouse that God wants you to be according to His design, not your design.