Dating vs. Godly Courtship
by Angie Lewis 4/27/2010 / Relationships
When we look at both of these styles of "getting to know people" and "having friendships" at face value, it appears they are the same. But Godly courtship is far superior to dating because it is scripturally sound and does not hurt people.
Dating is a worldly, cultural way to meet people for the purpose of having sex. Sex is a prerequisite of dating. Both parties have within their perception and attitude that having sex during the dating process is what is expected of them. Parents, if your teenage daughter is dating she is most likely also having sex. Television promotes this attitude and your teens watch it.
Dating is not scriptural. Mary and Joseph did not date. Dating goes against the moral precepts of our Creator and anyone who is partaking in it is sinning against God. If we want to have healthy relationships and marriages, we first have to get rid of the attitude that dating is an acceptable practice. You cannot date in the worldly sense and not have sexits what dating is!
In Godly courtship, which is practiced among the Amish and sincere Christian groups today, when a young man sees a woman that he is attracted to her, he does not start flirting with her or think about having sex with her. He does not awaken lustful desire in a lady and does not disrespect or defraud her by having sex with her. These young men practice self-control with their emotions and with their body. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7)
Being attracted to the opposite sex is normal, but we should control our emotions and sexual drive. We should think pure thoughts of the opposite sex and respect them for who they are, not what we can receive from them. When it gets to the point of obsessing over a person with lust and desire and flirting with them it has gone too far. Most of you think flirting is harmless, but it is a deceiving practice and should not be entertained until there is a commitment to marriage, at the very least.
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart". (Matthew 5:27-28)
In Godly courtship if a man feels attracted to a young lady he does not show his affection for her right away because that would, not only be disrespectful to the lady and her parents, but it would also make him bound to her in marriage. He controls his passions. If you are having a difficult time controlling your sexual desires then you need to pray about it and ask God to help you and He will provide you with self-control.
"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age." (Titus 2:11-12)
Why does someone think they can arouse lust and passion in someone they hardly know and have no intentions of marrying? That doesn't make any sense, at least from a Christian point of view. If a man has no intentions for marriage then he should be going to brothels and prostitutes, not nice ladies. We should not arouse immorality in others just for our own selfish reasons. Show a bit of restraint and self-control. Control your sex drive.
In Godly courtship, men and women never give away their hearts or their bodies. Instead they honor God with their bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20) They remain just friends and after getting to know one another better, the relationship progresses to good friends. The smart way to remain just friends is to never be alone with someone you are friends with. This makes so much sense because if you really are friends and love each other you wouldn't hurt the relationship by having sex.
"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality. (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
Only when a man intends on marrying a lady and is committed to her in marriage, does he give his emotions and passions away. This is scriptural and should be the way all Christians conduct themselves in their relationships today; to honor and please God. Times have changed, that's certainly true, but God's principles and moral lessons stay the same for us and Christians are still required to observe God's discipline for them.
Many young Christian people of today are being deceived through the dating process. I cannot tell you how harmful this can be to the preparation for marriage. If we look at scriptural romance and the way God intends for relationships to be between the opposite sexes, we see how much God loves and protects us through His loving discipline and principles. If we follow His plan for us we remain free from suffering and disease.
In today's society most Christian people are different with their values and morals and this is how dating got started. Morals start in the home. Godly courtship has principles that work for building healthy relationships with the opposite sex and for preserving marriage. Let's bring back God's way for our relationships and marriage.
"For everything in the worldthe cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and doescomes nor from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever." (1 John 2:16-17)