Heaven will be full of idiots!
by Annie Glasel 5/20/2010 / Education
Recently, I am learning that the "stupider" I am, the more likely I am to get into heaven. Let me prove it to you.
Starting with Genesis. Let's face it, to agree that the entire Bible is true means that you have to also believe in the Creation story. You have to believe it on faith and reject the seemingly logical science of "evolution." This alone would make any college-educated average moron (who probably has never read the Bible nor studied real boolean logic) tell you that you are an idiot. (They would totally discount that statistically speaking, the creation story is more plausible than evolution.)
Ending with Revelation. Again, if you are to proclaim that the entire Bible is true, every word is the inspired word of God, then you cannot shirk away from this awesome book of fantastic imageries, ultimate doom of evil and the final triumph of good. However, if you were to ever proclaim that we are in the end times, the intellectuals will mock you as Chicken Little or treat you like a zealot with a few screws loose. They will relegate you to the class of tabloid fodder. (Of course, let’s not study the statistical miracle of fulfilled prophecies of the Bible, including the ones that are making headlines today.)
In between Genesis and Revelation, the Bible gives several proofs that heaven will be filled with idiots.
Here are few of my favorites:
Matthew 18:3 – Jesus himself said that unless we become like little children, we would not enter the kingdom of heaven. Actually, it’s so important, it is recorded again in Mark 10:15. Surely, I am not implying that children are stupid. They are not. But they certainly do not have the capacity to analyze, pontificate and think through an issue from all possible angles. Nope. Life is simply too full of amazing new discoveries to trouble themselves with debates, arguments about who God is or isn’t. All they want and all they need to know is that there is a God, and that He is good; He loves them and if they believe in Him, they’ll get to go to heaven. How much simpler can it be?
John 5:39 – Jesus told the Pharisees that “Bible” studies will not get them into heaven. He says that they study but they missed the point. An African proverb says it like this: “I pointed out to you the stars, the moon and all you saw was my finger tips.” Or how about this, the Bible is a bus for heaven – it is more important to get on the bus than it is to understand every how-to in the owner’s manual. The analogies are endless. But the point would be the same – you must be born of water and spirit, not of water and paper.
John 12:3 (also Matthew 26:7, Mark 14:3) – Mary came and poured very expensive oil over Jesus’ head and then wiped His feet with her hair, washing it with her tears. In any culture, even today, a scene like this would be considered a spectacle. And I am not even talking about the dollar value of that perfume. The only person honest enough to say anything was Judas. We think of Judas as a traitor, as a miserly greedy man who sold out our Lord. But how many of us budget our tithe and giving governed by our head and not our hearts? In the early days of the church, people sold their possessions and laid the proceeds before the apostles for the work of the gospel. Today, those who do exactly that must endure ridicule for being foolish, financially irresponsible or having been swindled.
1 Corinthians 1:25 – Apostle Paul, one of the most learned man ever lived, spelled it out. God uses the foolish to confound the wise; and the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom. In other words, no matter how many initials we may hold at the end of our names, unless we are foolish enough to believe in Jesus, we are just not smart enough to get into heaven.
So I think it is time to take a vow – for all of us with college degrees. We should all vow to become more foolish each day – to be foolish for Christ.
I've written to ease my pain; I've written to hear my voice; I've written for vanity; I've written for sanity; I've written for fun; I've written for laughs; I've written for me; I've written for money. But until I write for God, this talent is for naught.