Matt. 6:14 "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." KJV
I am a sinner. Lord, I begin every day with the best of intentions; but somehow they all go astray. This morning I woke, praying while in bed, asking you to guide me throughout the day, keep me from making the same mistakes over and over again, protect my family and friends and provide their needs, thanking you for all my yesterdays and the tons of blessings you have so graciously given me. You are such a gentle Savior, Jesus. I would love to look upon your face and into your eyes, as I know that that act alone would revive this tired body and sagging spirit. Yes, I know in good time!
Lord, in the stillness of the day I hear your voice, whispering to me words of peace and joy. Sensing your presence, I draw closer to you. Your peace and calm drips over this spirit like a melting honeycomb; your sweetness removes my pain. My spirit is refreshed as I draw strength from your healing balm. I am most thankful for your mercy and love; however, I need to confess a problem.
Sometimes I struggle to share your forgiveness with others as you have told me to do. I tend to hold grudges, Lord. Pains inflicted by others stick into my spirit like stingers from hornets. They're hard to pull out, even with a good pair of tweezers. And sometimes I don't get the whole stinger; it breaks off deep inside and festers into one big sore. Before I know it, the sore needs more attention and is harder to heal than if I would have pulled it out cleanly and made sure it was all out. That's sin for you.
You see, Lord, I'm like a child wanting to please, yet five minutes after being corrected from a "no-no", I'm back to doing it again. I'm as sorry as can be, but in the heat of the moment, I lose my focus and forget what you have told me. Sinning comes on quickly, like that sudden sting of a bee. A person doesn't see it coming until after the fact. Then comes the pain and suffering and anguish, followed by the "I'm sorry, Lord"'s and "I'll do better next time"'s.
All is not lost though, Lord. You have softened my inner hard core, and in time, I sense the true way to deal with "stingers." I can feel that truth deep in my soul and the goodness that oozes from it. I hold on to those moments and am learning that they last a lot longer now. And they come automatically too, sometimes. Other times I have to have a talk with myself and deliberate which way I'm going; do I lose my cool and lash out at the offender, or do I sense the anger building and quickly remove the "stinger" before it festers? I'm learning, Lord. Slowly but surely.