Emotional Adultery: How Husbands and Wives Disrespect Each Other
by Angie Lewis 7/06/2010 / Marriage
How Husbands Disrespect Their Wives
Husbands who stare at, or flirt with other women may not think they are being disrespectful, but it is very hurtful to their wives. The bible talks about this in detail about how a man is to love his wife. "Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loves the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25)
Disrespecting our wives by ogling, touching, chatting with online, flirting, or staring at other women is not conducive to a healthy relationship, simply because it causes resentment and jealousy between couples. Husbands who make a habit of looking at other women in the wrong way are also disrespecting God's creation and the one flesh of marriage.
If we are having a difficult time keeping our eyes in our own fence then we really do need to ask Christ to help us with our temptations. If you believe it is wrong then let down your pride and allow God to go to work in your personal life. God clearly lets us know that if we go to him in faith that he will keep us from being tempted more than we can bear.
"And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it."
(1 Corinthians 10:13)
All moral sin starts with being tempted. But understand that we make ourselves tempted by having the wrong attitude about the opposite sex in the first place. Some men believe it is ok to stare at and flirt with other woman as long as they aren't having sex with them, but the fact is it is very harmful to the spirituality of the man who is doing it and to his wife who sees what is going on.
When a married man (or woman) ogles and flirts, it begins to form an attitude within him that this way of behaving is ok. The truth is carrying this attitude around is what leads up to adultery. Eyeing other women may seem innocent enough, but one day it will go further than just ogling. What is in a man's heart will come out in his actions. "But I tell you anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:27-28) Christ calls it emotional adultery and that's what it is.
Both men and woman are to blame for wrong behavior that happens between them. Married women should not be giving any reason for another man to stare at her. I realize that even though she may not give reason, a man is still apt to stare at her, but that is a whole other matter altogether. It still takes two to be tempted and then commit adultery. If you aren't doing anything wrong then you have nothing to worry about. The bottom line is some women have a role in this wrong behavior by the way they dress and carry themselves.
How Wives Disrespect Their Husbands
What do you think? Should a married woman dress to please her husband or to please her ego? Did you know that women are judged by the way they dress and carry themselves? In an instant a man will know if he can stare and flirt. Her demeanor is the biggest tell-tell of them all. Women either give off the appearance as someone who wants to be flirted with and stared at or they don't.
Has your husband ever said to you that your dress, skirt, or shirt was too revealing? Then you are a very lucky woman because this kind of a man is only trying to protect you from staring eyes. Some men don't know how to express themselves appropriately and so his wife may think he is trying to "control" the way she dresses. But actually he is only trying to keep other men from looking at his wife! No real man wants to have other men looking at his wife's cleavage or thighsit is very disrespectful.
Ironically, men stare and flirt because they have been given the signal from the woman that its ok to do ither demeanor and dress give it away! But then these very same women complain and files sexual harassment suits. We do it to ourselves! We have to be careful! When a woman behaves sexual in appearance or demeanor she will attract the wrong kind of attention. And if we do not want that kind of attention then we should consider carefully how we dress and convey ourselves.
We need to protect our marriage from the world! Sharing our marriage with the world is asking for trouble. When a married man stares at and flirts with other women he is disrespecting his wife, God and the one flesh of marriage, not to mention he is disrespecting himself. He is literally sharing himself with the world. We need to ask God to help us keep our eyes and thoughts in our own fence because this is God's purpose for us in marriage.
And when a woman dresses to please her ego, she is doing the same. She is giving off the wrong impression. How can a marriage be protected with all of this behavior going on? The only way to protect our marriage is to not let the world in. This starts with the husband and wife working together in the one flesh of marriage by pleasing God with their marriage rather than pleasing themselves.
The truth is no matter what a woman wears or how she carries herself there will always be unbelieving men, who can't resist what does not belong to them, but at least she did not have any part of it and her heart is right with God and her husband. We are God's wonderful and beautiful creation and we don't have to dress to please others but to please God, and that's all that matters.