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How To Win Someone's Heart

by Greg Baker  
11/30/2010 / Relationships

Ever tried to penetrate the tough guy facade? Or been turned away by the 'I don't need you or anyone else' face? There is a secret to winning someone's heart. This article does not guarantee that you will it merely equips you with the best tools to do so.

It does not matter if the situation is a boy trying to win the heart of a girl, a parent trying to get through to his rebellious teenager, an employer trying to help a disgruntled employee, or a wife trying to break down emotional barriers in her husband, the answer to accomplishing this is the same: understanding.

No one can win another's heart without first understanding what it took to get that person to the place they are. When you can walk emotionally and even, to some degree, mentally in the footsteps of another person, your understanding of who they are, how they got where they are, and why they do what they do will increase dramatically. This allows you the chance to win someone's heart.

Understanding accomplishes the following:


When you know why someone did what they did, you are often less inclined to get angry. If you knew that the person that stole your wallet was a 12 year old kid that had not eaten a thing in two weeks, you would probably not get very angry. If you knew that the person that cut you off while driving was desperate to get his pregnant wife to the hospital, you probably would not get angry.

If you knew the circumstances that brought a person to do what they did, you might not get so upset. That does not excuse what they did; it just means that you will be in more control over yourself, giving yourself greater opportunity to win that person's heart.


There is a story in the Bible about Jesus in Luke 17. A widow woman had just lost her only child and was on the way to bury him. Jesus knew within Himself that she was all alone. Understanding her situation brought greater compassion. Jesus resurrected her son.

During my years of counseling as a Pastor, I have discovered that well over 80% of all child molesters were molested as a child themselves. The path they were set upon was one that was forced on them. It in no way excuses their deplorable, despicable behavior, but it does allow me to have more compassion towards them. This compassion allows me the ability and opportunity to help them. Enough, perhaps, to change them from their previous path.


When someone loses their spouse, the person who is able to help the most is usually someone who has also lost their spouse. When someone is abandoned or divorced, those that are most helpful are often those who have gone through what they have. Again, the key is understanding. To understand someone allows you the opportunity to help them and to reach them.

The more you try to understand someone, the more opportunity you will have to help them.


Instead of just passing judgment on a person, why do you not attempt to understand them better? Understanding is the key to winning someone's heart!

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