Have You Cheated on Your Spouse? How to Stay Faithful
by Angie Lewis 12/02/2010 / Marriage
Why would we NOT be faithful marriage spouses? Why do some people cheat and some people don't? I believe it has a lot to do with how we think and what we value and cherish in life. Simply put, personal morals begin with our attitude. How we have been raised from childhood and what we believe will surely be a big part of if we remain faithful in our marriage or not.
I believe that people miss out on the spiritual Christ in their life by putting God in a corner of a church building. We tend to think that God is only going to hear our prayers if we go to church. We tend to worship the pastors and ministers of the church rather than Jesus Christ, who is the head of the church. Of course most of us know that God is everywhere because He is a Spirit, but most of us stifle our daily walk with God by only worshipping and or praying when we go to church.
The truth is Christ Ones are to worship and follow God in Spirit and in Truth. God does not favor those who "go to church". In fact God favors those people who will not hold on to such outward show and who will worship Him in Spirit. This means that our walk with God is not just when we go to church, but all day long, no matter what we are doing, or where we are going.
"But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." John 4:23-24
Love the Person God Created You To Be for Your Marriage
Value the person you are. Stop disrespecting yourself! That's what you are doing every time you allow a weakness to takeover the flesh. It's easy to do when most of us have been brought up to believe it's ok to have sex with whomever we please whenever we feel like it, even if we're married. Essentially unfaithfulness to our spouse stems from not putting our TRUST and FAITH in God.
God made a big "to do" about coming to earth as the man Jesus and showing us how to live pure, upright lives for Him with our marriage. I don't think we should take this love that God has for us too lightly. Most of us love ourselves in the wrong way, probably because we have not grasped God's amazing love for us. There is a big difference from loving ourselves egotistically and loving ourselves as a child of God. Not until we stop loving ourselves in the wrong ways and start loving the person God created us to be for Him, can we love our spouse in the right ways.
Don't Be Fooled by False Flattery and Praise
In this world of ego-based love there is much false praise and flattery going around. Don't be fooled into thinking this flattery and recognition comes from real lovelove from the Father. Don't misunderstand me, there are people who truly mean what they say and do not expect anything in return for being kind, but there are also many people who claim Christ and will say anything and be anything, for a time, just so they can get something from you. In this article we are talking about how to stay faithful so in that respect I'm talking about false flattery from people just so they can have sex from you, or whatever it is they want from you.
It is believing in this false praise that tempts people into being unfaithful in their marriage. Were love to be sincere, there would be no adultery and using of each other. Love must be sincere and without dissimulation. (Romans 12:9). The minute we base our relationships on self-based, ego built love we fall into societies traps, which separates us from GodHis Spirit that lives within us. Going to church is not going to help us with our temptations because churches do not teach about how relationships should be according to God!
Think about how unfaithfulness begins: it begins with each other sweet talking and giving flattery to making one another feel good being with each other. If married this is called emotional adultery. This ego building usually generates a sexual relationship, which could have been prevented had you prayed about it and put your life in God's hands. Adultery runs rampant today in marriage and it dishonors God and shows a bad example to the younger generation, plus harms your relationship with God.
Remember to be discerning first and realize as a child of God you have a duty to the opposite sex. As a woman you have a duty to not give male strangers and acquaintances a reason to believe they can have a part of you emotionally or sexually. The way a woman dresses and her mannerisms will tell a guy a lot about her. What are you telling men about who you are?
As a man you have a duty to protect young women from harm if you see a guy stepping out of place. And you have a duty to respect and love women as if they were your own sisters! Imagine your own daughter being sweet-talked into having sex. How would you like to find out she was being used and abused by a wolf in sheep's clothing?
As men and women of God, are we dishonoring the temple of the Holy Spirit of Christ that lives within us by lusting after men and women? If that be true then we need to pray about it and ask God to give us pure thoughts and to love people through Him rather than in selfish, ego-based love.
Work on Self-Healing: Stop Blaming Others For Your Sins and Weak Points
This is a biggy. Many times the adulterer or the adulteress will blame their spouse for cheating on the marriage. In their hearts they make themselves believe it has something to do with not getting enough sex, attention, or love, or perhaps they think they aren't "in love" with their spouse anymore. But sadly, you're lying to yourself.
The fact is when a spouse cheats it has absolutely nothing to do with who they are married to, but everything to do with YOU! There is no justification for stepping outside the bounds of our marriages, even if we are married to the most terrible people on the earth. Do you think God cares "why" you committed adultery, more than "what" you're going to do about your soul? We are free to make our own choices in life. People cheat for only reason and it is because they are not convicted in their heart and mind to be with Godthey are spiritually bankrupt. But you cannot get through the bankruptcy loopholes with God and file for spiritual bankruptcy. God wants your conviction, not your faky exterior.
Anyone can "go to church" but not anyone can remain faithful in his or her heart and mind to their marriage. Look at yourself. What do you see? More importantly, what does God see? Do you have a personal growing relationship with God, through His Son Jesus Christ? If you have been unfaithful in your marriage I think you know what you need to do. Let God guide your life. Get the healing you need! Stop trusting in the appearances of others and get to know people from within.
The bottom line is do not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers, that means to watch the friends you are keeping company with. And if your church does not worship Jesus Christ as the head then I would search for a new church or begin a home church in your community. And remember, some of the places we visit and some of the things we watch and listen to can and will take us from what is good and right for us and our marriage. Pray for discernment and wisdom and God will bless you, if you are faithful to Him.