Why Most Young People Today Are Not Prepared For Marriage
by Angie Lewis 12/09/2010 / Dating
This article speaks in generalities and what I have experienced in the young people I personally know today. I am not putting all 20-somethings into this category. You be the judge and decide for yourself if you are prepared for a lifetime marriage or not.
Most young people are not prepared for marriage because they have never been taught the wife/husband and the woman/man roles for marriage. Most women walk into marriage with the attitude of how her husband can make her happy 24/7 and both of them walk into the marriage with feelings of desire and lust. This is not to say they do not love one another, but it is to say which are you basing the marriage on, love or feelings.
Many times, because the husband does not truly know what his role is in the marriage, the wife in her disappointment becomes bossy and critical of her husband, but she does not know what his role is either, or hers for that matter. Then because of the lack of positive attention from his wife, the husband becomes bored and thinks he is not in love anymore.
Of course if you're going to have a marriage just like everyone else that will have a 50 to 60 percent chance rate of failure, then I suppose it does not matter if you have not been taught how to treat the opposite sex and love the person you marry. But if we want a godly marriage based on God's principles then we DO NEED to know a little bit about what is expected of us so we can honor God with our marriage, not turn it into a shambles.
A couple should never walk into marriage thinking that the marriage is for their happiness and enjoyment, or think that our spouses are supposed to fulfill our every nonsensical whim and make us happy 24/7. That would be a fairytale marriage and there is no such thing as a fairytale marriage. The closest you will get to a fairytale marriage is if you manage your marriage under God's relationship principles. Love must be without dissimulation.
Have you ever noticed how the fairytale books always say in the end "and they lived happily ever after"? But this is VERY misleading and presumptuous, would you say? It's just like telling small children about the existence of santa clause and the tooth fairy. It is ridiculous to have your daughter grow up believing that she will be whisked up by prince charming and the marriage will be happily ever after. It's a delusion.
Let me show you the difference between the fairytale marriage and the Godly Marriage. Now remember, fairytale marriages don't last because reality sets in and couples cannot handle the stress put upon what they presumed would be happily ever after.
* Godly marriages believe that happiness comes from within our spirit because of our relationship with God, and that marriage is made for honoring Godits creator!
* Godly marriage is based upon God's principles of love, serving one another in love, which ultimately honors God.
*Godly marriage is built upon commitment until death do you part rather than the "I'm not in love with you anymore" part.
* Fairytale marriages believe that happiness comes from each other, which makes marriage even more selfish.
* Fairytale marriages believe that love is a feeling, which causes people to think they are not in love anymore.
* Fairytale marriage never last because the fairytale eventually ends.
*Fairytale marriage are based on feelings rather than commitment