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Life as it is...

by Charmaine Austen-Dreyer  
1/13/2011 / Miracles


The wink came first...the acceptance later.


He settles himself onto the cold floor, in a niche of a derelict building.
He is content tonight, he was given a few tokens of money and deemed himself fortunate that he found two big size boxes.


The boxes flattened, covers and protects him against the cold evening and morning chill.


Yes, indeed, the gods looked favourably down on him on this night. Another night of many, sleeping out in the open. This is now his world.


As he moves and shuffles his big, gaunt frame to fit into the crevices & lines of the cement floor, his mind wonders and goes back to the life he use to live.
Another life, a life that most people deem as "normal".


His experience in that "normal life", he knows, have led him to this cold, cracked concrete slab. Homeless, free from the "normal", which he turned his back on.


In a wink of an eye, his world is what it is now.


Yes, he is a lucky man tonight. In the dark he searches for his jacket pocket, which is the only part of the jacket that is still in tack. The rest lies over his shoulder blades in tatters.


His hands are shaking so badly that it takes him several moments before he finds the opening and with a deep sigh of relieve pulls out the half jack of brandy-cheap brandy, nevertheless, brandy...


Today he feels fortunate. He could buy a "proper drink".


Tomorrow, who knows, maybe somebody will bestow mercy, give him more tokens to buy another half jack, maybe a full bottle, not wine that tastes like vinegar or worse, spirits, the blue colour one.


He tries to negate the flood of memories while he takes a big, deep swig out of the bottle. Tonight, memories take on a life of its own.


With pain stabbing through his body, his soul torn apart he sees her face. A face engraved in his mind. She was so beautiful, young and pure. He sees her, walking down the isle, the day they got married, two years ago.


Why did she have to die? Not just die, the way she did, killed by a "monster", a man with a mind gone awry; enjoying the slow, tortured dying of the one person he wanted to live with for the rest of his life.


He promised to protect her, look after her, till death do us part. Married two short years.
"Why Lord, why?" They lost their baby growing inside of her-murdered.


The brandy bottle is half empty. He can't escape. Everything cringes inside, he grabs and drinks deep out of the only friend he has now, the half jack.


The memories cuts through him, he sobs, it's happening all over again.


The ropes cutting into his wrists and ankles, he tried with all his might, he screamed, begged for mercy, having to watch, strapped to a chair. "Take me, not her, pleaseee...I beg of you"


A homeless man found them. It was too late for her and their baby.


His body broken, his soul died with her, forever. He searched hi and low, piece by piece he sold everything.


He went from lead to lead, tracking the killer. His spirit ebbing lower and lower, he found none, he had no choice, he gave up.


It is now only the shell of who he used to be and...the half jack. Today he was fortunate maybe tomorrow, there will be people that doesn't walk past in disgust and give him a token of money to once again, drown his sorrows.


He finally passes out, into oblivion. The pain made numb by the alcohol and neglect.


Tomorrow, the hope lingers, he will be able to accept, pick-up the pieces of his life as it is, and start again.


Deep down he knows it is never too late. He hears the invite, the whisper, more and more, surrender your all to God, through his Son, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.


He can make a difference, he can help others to heal as he knows the pain that paralysed him making him feel worthless, be worthless.


The turning point is now. For He makes new and give peace beyond understanding.


Once again, in a wink of an eye, Jesus will help him to help others. After all He came to die for us sinners.


With Grace and Mercy, the love of God and hope abound!


Sela! (pause and think about it)

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