Worry, who me? No way, what is there to worry about anyway, yesterday is gone, today is yet to be over, and tomorrow, well anything could happen before it gets here.
I wish I could say I always lived by these words; however, there was a time in my life, that I tormented myself with the known, the unknown, and what I thought I knew. I even worried about worrying! One could only conclude that I was a worrywart.
My worrywart nagged at me night and day. For years it badgered me with its subtle fear about mundane decision I needed to make. It would cause me to feel the agony of defeat of an unanswered prayer, before I even prayed! It troubled my thoughts, actions, words, and deeds. It dug its way into my faith and ate away at my soul, leaving in its wake a hole filled with doubt.
My worrywart mostly dug its heels into what hurts the most, my physical life. Besides a list of ailments too long to mention, the surgeon's knife seemed to have my name written all over it's sharp blade. Here is what a visit to my doctor's office was like.
"We have the results of your tests," my doctor would state matter-of-factly.
"How long do I have to live?" I would flatly respond.
The fear I had was crippling. As a young mother with three children, the first two surgeries I had, brought on a deeper loss than of my own life, it brought on the despair of whether or not I would see my children grow up.
When Jesus said, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." I understood the today part, but I was stuck on the tomorrow part. The dreadful fear of the unknown was keeping me from the joy of His grace and mercy.
I knew all the right scriptures. I wrote them down. I memorized them. I knew that God promised me a peace which surpasses all understanding, a faith that would conquer all fear, a belief that I could do anything through Christ, yet my worrywart still nipped at my heels.
I finally trapped my worrywart with this one verse, John 10:4 "When He brings out His own sheep, He goes before them; and the sheep follow Him, for they know His voice."
The Holy Spirit took the simple words "He goes before them" and revealed to me that Christ has already faced all my fears, anxieties, doubts, worries, reservations, uncertainties, illnesses, sicknesses, infirmities, diseases, and surgeries. He went before me and visited each one of my issues on the way to Calvary.
Now when ever my worrywart starts to dig around in His business, I boldly claim my victory in Jesus and he quickly scurries off.
2 Timothy 1:7
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
All Scriptures are from the New King James Bible
Deborah Ann Belka
TO GOD BE THE GLORY!
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