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Break Me

by Ron Quinlan  
8/08/2011 / Christian Living

With the kinds of shows there are on TV now I find myself reading a lot of Christian fiction. You know it will be clean and usually it avoids the theological issues that divide Christians. More common would be our need to put our trust in Jesus. Often you run across some awesome prayers. I stop and say "Me, too, Lord, this is what I need or want to say.
This weekend I read Tamera Alexander's, The Inheritance, and came across a prayer that really got me thinking. Do I really want to say me too? The prayer was one by the main male character, a federal marshal named Wyatt. His prayer was something like this. "Break me, Lord, until I am totally yours."
Break me! Do we really want to ask the Lord to break us? It has to be a painful process? Why would we ask the Lord for more pain? Why would we ask to be broken? What does it mean to be broken?
I think the first thing that has to be broken is our will, our determination to be boss of our lives and make all our own decisions. This is where the real struggle lies. We know in our head that God's plans and will for our lives is definitely better than our plans but still we follow our own plans. We have to be boss. We have to make our own decisions.
Often we have to be broken of our independence, the idea that we have to do things on our own. So often we try to earn our way to heaven rather than simply accepting the graces God wants to give us.
Maybe it's our worldly dreams and ambitions that have to be broken. We have to give up the dreams and goals we have pursued for so long so that God can give us a better dream the dream that He has for our life.
Perhaps it is the fears that control our lives that we have to give up. So many people's lives are ruled by fear. As a consequence they live dry empty lives rather than take a risk. Maybe they're trapped in a job they hate because they're frightened by the thought of change.
Maybe we need to be broken of attachments. Perhaps we need to turn away from people who aren't good for us but will lead us in the wrong direction. Maybe we need to be broken of an attachment to a vice like smoking, drinking or gambling?
Is it possible that He will want to break us of our attachments to our possessions, the big screen TV that rules our lives, the Internet, our music collection, our season tickets or our SUV? Perhaps He will call us to give up our attachment to a special place that we love.
Maybe we need to be broken of our attachment to our pastor, our church or a ministry. Maybe these things have become more important to us than He is.
Maybe we need to be broken of the attachment to our past, the anger, resentment and unforgiveness which we hold onto year after year.
I would say definitely our pride and ego need to be broken. Most people I know struggle with pride and several ministers have said for most of us it is a lifetime struggle.
What else might happen if we prayed to be broken? I would bet that we would have a closer relationship with the Lord. I would expect that if we allow the Lord to break our will, our pride and egos that in the long run our lives would be happier. How could we not be happier if we were totally the Lord's?

Lord, I need grace and courage even to say to You, break me. Grant me the wisdom, grace and courage I need to allow You to break me. Let me give up my dreams, goals and hopes. Let me give up my anger and resentment. Free me of all attachments. Give me new dreams and goals. Help me to become the person You created me to be. Amen

I am a former Catholic School teacher, now working as a caregiver in South Carolina. I have written pieces for Catholic Exchange and Catholic Lane including God's Valentine and A Faith Worth Dying For. You may read more of my work on ronquinlan.wordpress.com

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