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Satan acknowledges God as super terrorist

by Greg Miller
9/18/2011 / Humor

Roy worked as a First Responder for his community's Terrorism Prevention Squad.

Royetta, Roy's sister, served as the city's police chief.

The dynamic duo proudly served their community. "I always thank God for allowing me to work on this job," said Royetta. "I really like to wear my badge, because it is a symbol of law and order."

"You do a great job as the police chief," Roy said. "And I'm glad the Lord chose to allow us to serve Him together in this way."

Several local high school students formed a gang to terrorize the community. Ray, the gang's leader, complimented himself on both his creativity and his humor. He dubbed his young terrorists the "Small Watermelon Gang."

Every Friday evening, gang members stole watermelons from area supermarkets and filled a large truck with their stolen merchandise. As the dwindling sunlight gave way to the moon's increasing visibility, gang members went to a previously-designated neighborhood and parked the truck. Each gang member armed himself with a small watermelon and walked boldly to a nearby house. The gang member rang the doorbell and waited impatiently for the unsuspecting victim to open the door.

Ray encouraged all gang members to be creative terrorists. Sometimes, the gang member threw the watermelon on the sidewalk in front of the home. Sometimes, the melon was smashed on the living room floor. Sometimes, the gang member crushed the watermelon on the victim's head.

As usual, Satan or one of his assistants stood by, rooting for gang members to accomplish their mission.

"Ray, you did a magnificent job this evening when you crushed the watermelon on that guy's head," gloated the devil.

"Yes, Sir, I did," Ray bragged.

"Since you fellas are doing such great work, I think you need to step your game up a notch and have this kind of fun seven nights a week," Satan said.

"Thanks for that super idea," Ray replied.

The terrorists' fun and games, however, were about to come to a screeching halt. Roy and Royetta had been following up leads that had been generated, and they arrested all the gang's members, who were tried and sentenced to juvenile prison.

Many years later, God's Word was fulfilled, and the creator of the universe cast Satan into the Lake of Fire. The devil was feeling extreme pain in the flames, which had been prepared especially for him. He tried to relieve some of the pain by remembering all the laughs he and his demons shared every time one of the gang's members crushed a watermelon on someone's head.

"I thought I was a pretty good terrorist," the devil said. "But based on what I'm experiencing right now, I have to admit God is the master terrorist. I just wish I could have won Him over to my side!"

To contact the writer of this column about puppet ministry and/or speaking engagements, please email [email protected].

By Greg Miller 2018

Greg is retired from the Elizabethton STAR Newspaper, after working there for almost 23 years. He now freelances for the paper. Contact email address is [email protected], also facebook.com/kidcool4jesus. Available for speaking engagements/other ministries. Jesus is Lord

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