by Melissa Martin
11/09/2011 / Humor
American families follow some pretty silly traditions. Why do we say, "bless you" when someone sneezes? All types of germs spew into the atmosphere and we give them positive reinforcement. We should say "no blessing to you" or "go somewhere else and sneeze".
Why do parents sing the Rock-a-Bye Baby Lullaby to newborns? It's violent and the lyrics portray the baby as falling to the ground. Ouch!
An Easter Bunny brings chicken eggs. Who thought that one up? Can't a giant chicken carry the colored eggs? Chickens do all the work and one big bunny gets all the credit! However, the poor chicken is redeemed when its' soup is toted as the cure for the common cold and a best-selling book series is named after the recipe (Chicken Soup for the Soul).
Why do we only eat turkey two times a year on holidays? Turkey is good for you! Let's cook a big turkey once a month.
Why do people make the beer green on St. Patrick's Day? Once a year, beer is green going down instead of when it comes up. The Irish are also known for potatoes. Why not make our mashed potatoes green on this annual celebration?
Why do we celebrate pumpkins on Halloween; pumpkins are boring vegetables. Besides, pumpkin pies already receive enough fame on Thanksgiving Day. Let's give another vegetable a chance at stardom; the poor eggplant doesn't get any respect. Once customs get started, they are passed down to each new generation so we can continue laughing.
Melissa writes about the God and human connection and condition.
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