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Church conducts love contest

by Greg Miller
3/11/2012 / Humor

Pastor and Assistant Pastor both loved the Lord very much.

The two leaders decided that the church should place more of an emphasis on love within the community.

"Why don't we have a love contest?," suggested Assistant Pastor. "We can run the contest for a whole month. The person who loves the most during that time will win a super prize."

"What will we give as the prize?," asked Pastor.

"We can give the winner a reserved spot on the back pew for an entire year," said Assistant Pastor.

"And the person who shows the least amount of love during the contest will also win a prize," he said. "The loser will be required to sit on the front pew for an entire year."

"What if the loser already sits on the front pew?," asked Pastor.

"Then he or she can sit between us on the platform," replied Assistant Pastor.

"That sounds like a very good plan," Pastor responded. "We will have to make sure, though, that the person does not bring his or her cell phone to the platform unless they are on call for their job."

The contest went well and, at the end of the month, the winners were declared. Assistant Sunday School Superintendent won the contest and was escorted to her new seat in the rear of the church. The contest's loser, Assistant Drummer, took his temporary seat on the platform between Pastor and Assistant Pastor.

Both Assistant Sunday School Superintendent and Assistant Drummer accepted their new seats with lots of grace. "This is actually pretty nice," said Assistant Drummer, whose new location was near his usual drum-playing spot.

Assistant Sunday School Superintendent, however, wasn't nearly as thrilled with her new seat, since she usually sat on the front pew with several other ministry leaders. "It's much harder for me to hear what the pastor is saying back here," she observed.

The following week, Pastor preached about God's love. "Without love, no man shall see God!," Pastor thundered. "We must love God with our whole heart and soul, and we must love our neighbor as ourselves."

After the service, Assistant Sunday School Superintendent asked Pastor if she could briefly speak with him. "Certainly, Sister Assistant Sunday School Superintendent," Pastor remarked. "What may I do for you?"

"I would like to make a suggestion for future love contests," said Assistant Sunday School Superintendent. "We had some great fun during the contest. But I would like to suggest that any future contests do not result in the awarding of prizes. I believe we are to show our love without any sort of payment.

"Non-Christians," she observed, "will know we are Christians by our love, not by prizes we receive in a contest to see who loves the most!"

To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements and/or puppet ministry, please email [email protected].

By Greg Miller 2018

Greg is retired from the Elizabethton STAR Newspaper, after working there for almost 23 years. He now freelances for the paper. Contact email address is [email protected], also facebook.com/kidcool4jesus. Available for speaking engagements/other ministries. Jesus is Lord

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