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Christian Codependency: Does God Want You To Be Codependent?

by Karla Downing  
5/07/2012 / Christian Living

Are you looking for help for your Christian codependency? If so, do you wonder if God wants you to be codependent? Christian codependents tend to overly give, ignore their own needs, tolerate mistreatment, and lose themselves while believing God is pleased with them. Many of the beliefs people commonly hold about what the Bible teaches about relationships appear to support the view that God wants us to be codependent. These four Scriptural teachings are often taken out of context and applied in ways that are unhealthy and unbalanced:

- God wants you to give sacrificially. Giving is a recurrent theme in the New Testament. Sacrificial giving can be healthy, but it can also be unhealthy. Codependents give out of compulsion and often become resentful toward the person. Healthy giving is motivated by choice and right reasons. God would rather have you not give when you don't want to. Jesus said we should communicate a clear message: When we mean yes, we do it; but when we really mean no, we don't do it.

- God wants you to put others before you. Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves and to consider their needs as important as our own. There is a time to put others first, but there is also a time to put ourselves first. If you were in line in the grocery store to buy food for dinner for your family and you allowed one person after another to go before you to pay, you wouldn't make it home to fix dinner for your family or yourself. Jesus took time to take care of himself so he would be rested and able to minister effectively.

- God wants you to forgive over and over. Jesus taught that you need to forgive repeatedly without end. The misapplication comes from believing that you have to continue to tolerate all types of mistreatment by turning the other cheek and giving the other person another opportunity to hurt you. Jesus did teach you have to repeatedly forgive- as opposed to storing up bitterness and seeking revenge-but you are not required to allow the person to hurt you again and again. You can set boundaries to protect yourself while forgiving.

- God wants you to lose your life by dying to yourself. One of the conditions of being a disciple is to follow Jesus and put him first. You are to lose your life for Christ-not for other people. You are to die to your sin nature-not to the unique self that God created you to have and be. You will give an account of how you lived your life and used your talents. If you lose your life in others, you will not be a good steward.

Does God want you to be codependent? No. He wants you to overcome your Christian codependency by correctly applying Scriptural truths to your life.

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Next, if you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.

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