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Christian Marriage Help: What Submission Is and Isn't

by Karla Downing  
5/15/2012 / Marriage

Are you looking for Christian marriage help? Are you wanting to know what submission is and isn't? Then, this article will answer your questions. Ephesians 5:22-24 says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord" (NIV). Sounds simple, but what does that really mean in a marriage?

Some interpret submission rigidly to say it is without exception. They say a woman has to obey without reservations and trust that God will cover her, lead her husband to make right decisions, and prevent her from being asked to do wrong. She should take all her appeals and concerns to God who will work through her husband rather than to her husband directly. Others say submission keeps a woman protected by her husband's covering and not submitting leaves her vulnerable to Satan's attacks.

Those teachings leave a woman unprotected from a husband who isn't taking care of her or loving her. In Ephesians 5:28-29, husbands are told to love their wives as they love and care for themselves. Men who don't know how to love themselves or their wives make decisions that are sometimes harmful to their wives, themselves, and their families. God can intervene to cover a woman and her children from the fallout of bad decisions by her husband, but he doesn't have to and he doesn't always do it. God expects us to live proactively and to do what is right. Passivity can be dangerous.

Scripture gives an exemption for submitting to authority. In Acts 5:29, Peter and the apostles defied the authorities when they were told to stop preaching saying, "We must obey God rather than men" (NIV). When doing wrong is involved, women can refuse to submit to any authority, including their husbands.

Submission is not a rigid edict to keep a woman from living her own life, making her own choices, or having boundaries. She is still a steward of her own life and talents and is expected to use them and will even answer for how she did to the Lord. A woman has the right and freedom to be a person and to express her desires and to say yes or no to what she is asked to do based on her conscious. She has a responsibility to protect her family, including her children. The Proverbs 31 woman was a strong, independent, and competent woman with responsibility and character.

Healthy marriages have a balanced partnership that includes taking the wants and needs of both people into consideration to reach an agreement with decisions. This is where submission comes in. When there is an impasse, someone has to decide. If a man is the primary leader with the responsibility to care for his family, then a woman can choose to submit to his leadership. She will have no problem trusting his decisions, if he loves her, loves himself, and loves his family.

This Christian relationship help has explained what submission is and isn't. To sum it up: submission is a choice that must be made with wisdom and discernment.

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Next, if you need more practical tips and Biblical truths to help you change your relationships, get my FREE "15-Day Relationship Challenge" designed to give you back the power over your life.

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