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The Hole

by Barry Whitaker  
7/12/2012 / Poetry

I've been feeling for a long
It's arriving at the time
To get out of this hole
That I'm calling my home
Time for my life to again be strong
I'm stagnated, I must move
Motivate my heart
Get out of this bind
I've wasted too much time
Probably my last chance
I must do the best I can
My body is having trouble
But I'll survive all this rubble
Pain handled by your mind
can then be set aside
I must be careful as I go
Limitations I'm still having to hone
I must study and sharpen my skills
I've not used them for so long
But i feel my knowledge
will still be strong
this mess I'm dealing with at this
my body was broken by children that
meanness was howto survive
It's been devastating, screwing with
my mind

Starting over this late in life
Is very hard
For I've gone far, lived large
Lived strong, worked hard
Tried to live right
Now to the beginning, again
I must go
Trying to regain the right road
Should be easy, but I find it not so
The years of knowedge,
acquired throughout my life
I'm having trouble
organizing things in my mind
I must devise a plan
And get out of this bind
I'll not survive if i don't
I feel it's my only hope
I'm growing to old
to live on the road
I'm smart and I'm skilled
But for some reason
I can't find the right gear
I would like to feel that my life
was not wasted in god's eyes
If only in a small way
I helped a fellow person do better in
In some way I think then
I would not feel like such a waste
I think loneliness
Makes me not want to try
I lost my parents
and the woman I'd given my love
for years
I seem to have wasted that part of
my life
That I held so dear
Now I seem not to care
How I live with no one to hold
Day after day, I just go and go
I feel in my mind
A wasted life is the greatest sin
In God's eyes

I want to think
God's proud of my life
At the end of my time
Hope He'll feel that I tried
To live with him in mind
I was saved by God's
So my purpose must be in His plan
I feel lost and confused
I can't figure out what to do
There has to be a place
that I can do well
once again be productive
Live like a man.
Have a reason
To live strong
Find a love I can depend on
Share my story with those who don't know
Teach them to be safe
and get through the rough road
Be successful and get thru life's
Pray they'll listen
From one who learned
Failings caused by hard-headed way.
Made my life this way
Even though the lesson is tough
I feel everyone should learn
how the street shows your heart
what you're made of
When all that you have is your will
to survive
No one to run to and cry for help
Then you'll realize God was by your side all the time
When you felt abandoned,
All alone through hard times
He helped every time
I guess what I am trying to say
Is I need helping hands
A goal I can see in my mind's eye
That's how I will know
Which was I must go
Finally be free from this hole
I'v been calling my home.

I was homeless when I wrote this after having been run over once. I have since been run over again and now have traumatic brain injury. God let me live for a purpose. As a former Navy man and as a Christian I believe that God wants me to share his impact in my life.

Article Source: WRITERS

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