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The Bionic Woman
by Linda Nathan
10/24/2012 / Humor
Well, it's finally happened, and it's just too good to be true. You know how I've always joked that half my brain is on my computer? Well, last night I was fixing dinner and accidentally dropped my sushi onto the wireless router. This may sound fishy, but as I popped it into my mouth, there was a sizzle, and an instant electronic jolt switched the current away from my laptop and into my body.
When I woke up this morning the whole world looked different. I was seeing Fox News with my right eye and CNN with my left. One blink, and suddenly I knew that I could just think about a subject and Google would snatch it out of the ethers and drop it before my mind's eye. What a trip! Anywhere in the world in seconds. I whirled through Switzerland, Ethiopia, and Outer Mongolia before I finally got a grip on myself.
A little more experimentation and I found I could organize my thinking into neat, bulleted lists complete with a choice of fonts and graphics (although Word's stupid paperclip with the eyeballs was driving me nuts). Once the defrag finished though, it disappeared and my headache cleared up.
Guess that's enough for tonight, Mabel, as I feel a cold coming on. Time for a nip of Norton's Anti-Virus and then into sleep mode.
Linda Nathan has been president and senior editor of Logos Word Designs, Inc. since 1992, offering publishing consultation, comprehensive writing and editing services, and proposal packages. She has assisted many authors in obtaining publication. Visit www.logosword.com for details.
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