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Contact Greg Miller


Christmas Trees Hold Fundraising Concert

by Greg Miller  
11/22/2012 / Humor




2012
 
About five weeks before Christmas, Fresh Cut Christmas Tree and Artificial Christmas Tree held a pre-Christmas fundraising concert to raise money to buy toys for poor children. The concert was held in the newly-constructed Fresh Cut Christmas Tree and Artificial Christmas Tree Auditorium.
 
The trees performed their own original songs during the concert. In fact, Artificial Christmas Tree wrote lyrics for the songs, and Fresh Cut Christmas Tree composed the music.
 
All the songs glorified the Lord Jesus Christ. Both trees recognized the lordship of Christ over all creation.
 
"I'm sure glad we celebrate Christmas every year," said Artificial Christmas Tree. "Celebrating Jesus' birth is the most important aspect of Christmas."
 
Fresh Cut Christmas was glad she wasn't artificial. "Don't get me wrong," he told Artificial Christmas Tree. "You do a fantastic job of being artificial. It's just not my cup of egg nog."
 
The concert was divided into two sessions, plus an intermission. Multitudinous snacks were sold to raise money to buy the toys for the needy children.
 
At the designated time, Christmas Wreath walked onto the stage to report on the amount of money that had been raised. "This is great!," Christmas Wreath shouted. "We've raised $5,000!"
 
"I have an idea about how we can raise even more money," suggested Fresh Cut Christmas Tree. "If all of the town's businesses will agree to give $5 each during the next week, we can raise an additional $10,000."
 
"I have an idea, too," said Artificial Christmas Tree. "If all of tonight's guests will give a few extra bucks, we can increase our total by several thousand dollars more."
 
"How about it, Folks," Christmas Wreath shouted. "Can we count on your support?"
 
The audience roared its approval, excited about helping the community's poor children.
 
To close out the concert, Fresh Cut Christmas Tree and Artificial Christmas Tree invited Christmas Wreath to join them in singing a couple of traditional Christmas carols. The trio belted out the familiar tunes, then Fresh Cut Christmas Tree announced she was going to conclude the concert with a prayer. "I think we need to take a few moments to thank the Lord Jesus for coming to earth," she said.
 
She bowed her head and closed her eyes, but before she could begin praying, an anonymous man ran onto the stage and demanded, "I insist that you do not pray in the name of Jesus!"
 
"You're wasting your breath, Sir," said Fresh Cut Christmas Tree. "I always pray in Jesus' name. I mean you have to admit that my prayer would sound pretty silly if I ended it with 'In the name of Fresh Cut Christmas Tree!"
 
To contact the writer of this column about speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraisers and/or puppet ministry, please email [email protected].
 

By Greg Miller 2018

Greg is retired from the Elizabethton STAR Newspaper, after working there for almost 23 years. He now freelances for the paper. Contact email address is [email protected], also facebook.com/kidcool4jesus. Available for speaking engagements/other ministries. Jesus is Lord

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