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Make Marriage Your Responsibility and Be Accountable

by Angie Lewis  
5/31/2007 / Marriage

As a married adult, what are your responsibilities in marriage? What did you learn in school or at home about responsibility and accountability in life? Ninety-nine percent of high school graduates know nothing about how a relationship works. How could they, most of them have dated since they were twelve and had sex with five or ten different partners? They have been mentally and emotionally abused.

Dating is a negative sexual thing and is a form of mental abuse, even though it is very much physical. Each time a teenager has sex they are losing a valuable part of themselves; it's called self-respect. Of course, they may not see it that way, but look at the divorce rates. Look at how married couples treat each other. They graduate from school believing that love is sex and sex is love. Then what happens? They get married and are needy and insecure or have other issues that affect the marriage. This makes them sponge off of each other for love and other emotional needs they are yearning for, instead of each giving love voluntarily the way it is supposed to be.

Is it the schools responsibility to teach about responsibility and accountability? No, I don't think so. Is it the parent's responsibility? It surely is. So then what is happening with that? I'm sorry, but I don't see it. I just don't see where most couples in marriage are taking responsibility for their marriages. They need to step up to the plate and take responsibility! But instead, they are handing their marriage over to the state. "Here, you deal with it, it's your problem now".

Where is the responsibility and accountability? That's what I want to know. If my right arm was giving me problems and was in pain, should I get a new one? If my son or daughter treated me badly, should I get rid of him or her, and find another son or daughter? If my husband committed adultery, should I commit adultery too? If my car started losing oil, should I buy a whole new car? If I stopped feeling euphoric in love in my marriage, should I get a new spouse?

The truth be told, couples are confusing marriage with dating. They somehow associate being married to just dating and having sex. There is no commitment in the marriage relationship anymore, there is no morals or principles anymore, and when they get tired of being married to that marriage partner, they can dump them and get a whole new marriage partner, again, just like they once did when they were dating. And then, they can repeat the cycle all over again.

How can we start taking responsibility and be accountable for our part in the marriage? First, get divorce completely out of your mind. Second, start taking responsibility, and admit your failings and work on getting the big fat log out of your own eye and let your spouse work on getting the sliver out of theirs. Third, be devoted to one another through respect and acceptance of each other. Stop blaming and accusing one another; leave each other alone, and watch love come back into the marriage.

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