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Couple Thrilled About the Upcoming Birth of Their First Child

by Greg Miller  
6/11/2013 / Humor


2013


BillyBob and his wife, BilleBarb were thrilled about the upcoming birth of their first child.


The couple, however, seemed uncertain about the baby's gender.


"The Lord has spoken to me through a dream," said BillyBob. "He showed me that I'm going to be the father of a bouncing baby boy."


BillieBarb didn't know what to think about her husband's bold announcement. "Well, Dear, God gave me a dream about the baby, too. And the baby I saw was the cutest, most feminine baby in the world. A girl!"


Both BillieBarb and BillyBob realized their lives would be forever changed with the birth of a baby. "It doesn't matter, though," said BillieBarb. "I feel God's call on my life to be the best mom I can be."


"And I believe God is calling me to fatherhood," said BillyBob. "I can hardly wait."


When BillieBarb was in her fourth month of pregnancy, an exciting and memorable event occurred. BillieBarb began experiencing morning sickness, and BillyBob took the day off work to be with her. In the afternoon, the couple reclined on the sofa for a power nap.


When they awoke, they heard a strange voice. "BillyBob," BillieBarb exclaimed. "Our unborn daughter is singing praises to the Lord!"


"Yes, I hear her!," yawned BillyBob. "She has a lovely voice."


"Thanks, Dad," said BrittneeBarb. "I appreciate the compliment. I just wanted you to know that from the moment I was conceived I began praising God."


"That's wonderful," said BillieBarb. "I am glad to know you're already worshipping the Lord."


"Remember when they took those ultrasound images of me in the hospital?," asked BrittneeBarb. "Well, when I had my hands lifted up, I was praising the Lord Jesus."


BrittneeBarb told her parents she had learned how to praise the Lord by paying attention during the church's worship services. "I get such a wonderful feeling during those services," she said.


BillieBarb asked her unborn daughter to describe her living quarters. "Well, if living on the earth after I'm born is going to be half as much fun as I'm having now, it'll be a blast," grinned the little girl.


"It's fantastic in here, very comfortable," BrittneeBarb continued. "I have lots of delicious food, and the temperature is always very comfortable. God the Creator really knew what He was doing when he planned on how unborn babies would live. By the way, I have a surprise for you."


"I like good surprises," said BillieBarb. Is this a good surprise?"


"I think it's a good one," said BrittneeBarb. "You're going to have twins."


"We suspected that," said BillieBarb. "What do you think about your brother?"


"He's great," said BrittneeBarb. "But he'd be even better if he'd learn to sleep on his own side of the womb!"


To contact the writer of this column for speaking engagements, including Christian Comedy Fundraisers and/or puppet ministry, please email [email protected].


By Greg Miller 2018

Greg is retired from the Elizabethton STAR Newspaper, after working there for almost 23 years. He now freelances for the paper. Contact email address is [email protected], also facebook.com/kidcool4jesus. Available for speaking engagements/other ministries. Jesus is Lord

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