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7 Little Things That Can Make A Big Difference In Your Marriage

by Pastor QT Nyathi  
7/01/2013 / Marriage

One cynic once said, "Marriage is like a hot bath-once you get used to it, it isn't so hot." The cynic wasn't thinking when he said these lifeless words. You and I know that if you just add more hot water into the bath-tub, you will keep on enjoying your hot bath. If you do the following seven things to or for your spouse once a day, you will rekindle the fires of your marriage. So grab a bucket and lets get some hot water to heat things up in your marriage.

1) Once a day, compliment your spouse.

In most marriages, over 80% of communication is negative.

As a result a minor issue sparks off a big fight because the atmosphere is already charged with negativity.

Find something to thank your spouse for. You didn't marry the devil after all.

*Appreciate her cooking.

*Appreciate his sweetness with the kids.

*Thank her for being a great hostess.

*Thank your spouse for bringing food on the table.

Celebrate each other's strengths.

Whatever is appreciated grows.

Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on one compliment!" Encouragement or appreciation is the oxygen of the soul.

So breathe life into your spouse each day by genuine appreciation.

2) Once a day, touch your partner in a non-sexual way.

Touch is a language.

When you touch your loved one, you are communicating love in a powerful way.

I remember visiting a very sick lady one day with my wife. She kept on saying to her husband in a weak laboured voice, "Please hold me, my love!"

That scene touched us. We resolved on the spot to touch each other even more. We won't wait until we are on our death beds. So touch your spouse now. Today.

*Embrace .


*Hold hands.

*Hug her or him from behind.

*Lie on each other's laps.

*Pat each other's backs.

Whatever you do today don't forget to touch your spouse. By touching, you are connecting with each other.

3) Once a day, spend at least ten uninterrupted minutes with your spouse.

Intimacy is spelt T-I-M-E.

Time is the fabric out of which intimacy is made. Intimacy is not built by just celebrating big occasions like annivesaries in a big way. Instead it's built by spending time together daily.

You are attracted to whatever or whoever you spend time with.

Endevour to spend ten golden minutes with your spouse, just to catch up on the day or just enjoy each others company. Remember it's uninterrupted time.

No kids.

No tv.

No cat or dog.

Just you and your spouse.


One on one.

Face to face.

Heart to heart.

4) Once a day, laugh with your spouse.

Laughter is like medicine, the good book says. Laughter is therapeutic exercise.

A marriage filled with laughter is a healthy marriage.

A marriage filled with frowns is a sick marriage.

When was the last time you laughed together? That is a good indicator of the state of your marriage. Once a day laugh with your beloved.

There are so many benefits of laughter and a merry heart.

*Laughter heals the body.

*Laughter is an antidote to stress.

*Laughter is a safety valve that diffuses tension.

*Laughter builds a great atmosphere of love and acceptance.

*Laughter is even a job for some.

Comic moments are all around you. Share a joke from the newspaper or internet. Chuckle as you watch the kids play. Laugh about
unforgettable characters at church or at work.

Laugh at yourselves-don't take yourselves too seriously, you are still under construction, God is not done with you yet.

Heal your marriage today through belly-aching laughter.

5) Once a day, serve your spouse.

To serve is to minister to, to help or assist, to work for and to perform duties for another. Each day be a blessing to your spouse in a practical way.

*Give him or her a massage or foot rub.

*Run a bath for him or her.

*Help her with the dishes.

*Prepare a special meal for your spouse.

*Fix the sandwich maker or the squeaky door for her.

*Buy her that hair-piece she has been longing for.

*Surprise him or her with lunch at work.

There are so many ways of serving your partner. Be creative. Make sure that you serve your spouse in ways that appeal to him or her-tailor your 'service' to the things you know he or she loves or enjoys.

6) Once a day, forgive your partner at least seven times.

Lets admit it.

We are fallen beings.

As a result from time to time we offend and hurt each other. Without forgiveness, a marriage becomes stale and stuffy.

Forgive unfulfilled commitments, human frailty, and hurtful talk. If there is nothing to forgive, forgive in advance because offence is just around the corner.

*Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling.

*Forgiveness is free gift, not a manipulative bribe.

*Forgiveness is an act of faith, not a sight-based thing.

Without the restorative oil of forgiveness marriage eventually grinds to a halt with sparks flying everywhere.

Give your spouse (and yourself) a big present today-forgive. If you do so things will run smoothly again and you will enjoy your marriage.

7) Once a day, kiss passionately for some seconds.

Sadly for some couples, the last time they kissed was the day when the marriage officer said, "You may now kiss the bride."

You don't have to wait for the marriage officer to give another announcement for you to kiss again.

Permission was granted that day for the rest of your life.

So go for it.

By kissing your spouse, you are saying so many things. You are declaring that your spouse is special since kissing is an intimate activity. Also you are saying, "You are physically attractive to me."

Kissing is a way of showing how much you value physical intimacy in marriage. Finally you are saying, "I have reserved myself especially for you my love."

A word of warning to all men.

This type of kissing may or may not lead to the bedroom. For most men kissing is a one way route to the bedroom. Kiss her in the kitchen, kiss her in the lounge with the kids watching.

A good goodbye kiss in the morning gives you something to think about all day. You won't even notice your half-dressed secretary or that hunk at work. Welcome each other with a kiss.

Become a kissing couple and you will keep your marriage.

Improve your marriage today through these little tweaks.

Pastor QT is a published author, copywriter and speaker. His sincerity, wit and candid style have endeared him to many hearts. His book DELIVERANCE UNPACKED has been warmly received globally. He conducts spicy marriage and singles seminars with his feisty wife Bonani.

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