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"Not Everything That Glitters Is Gold"

by Shakera Reid-Stewart  
6/16/2007 / Dating

So, as I watched the movie, "The Holiday" last night, my friend and I debated about the casting of Jack Black as a love interest. From the time that I saw the trailer for the movie and all throughout the movie, I realized how bothered I was by the fact that they messed up what would have been an otherwise great movie by casting him in that role. He was supposed to be funny and insane. He definitely didn't fit the bill for romantic and insightful.

As we all watched and related a little bit too much with the female characters, I realized that this movie had been the story of my love life in so many ways. There was one line in the movie that I'll always remember. "In the movies, there are leading ladies and best friends. You are definitely a leading lady, but you seem to want to act like the best friend."

1. Why is it that women feel they can't be in love and be strong at the same time?
2. Why are we always waiting for men to change their minds and realize that we are the best things that ever happened to them?
3. How is it that our perspective in other aspects of our lives, as well as, on other people's lives can be so clear, but when it comes to our love life, the waters are always so murky?
4. What does it take for us to realize that it is more important to be able to love who we are than to change for the worse in the name of love?

Anyway, back to Jack Black. As we sat there and assessed the package that this
knight in shining armor came in, it suddenly dawned on me that even though I claim to be maturing in my older age, I was still stuck in a rut where it came to men.

1. Where do we draw the line between the need for an externally attractive mate and the need for an intrinsically beautiful person?
2. If you think about it, just how many "Jack Black's" have we passed up looking for "Jude Law's", "Denzel Washington's", "Matthew McConaughey's", or "Morris Chestnut's"? (whoever's your poison- they all do it for me!)
3. Is it wrong/shallow to have a picture of what your "perfect" man should look like?
4. How much does physical appearance figure into the happily ever after equation?
5. How much effort does it really take to look beyond the surface to know if someone's the real deal?

Over the past seven years I've let go of a lot of my youthful notions of what a
fine man should look like. I've found myself letting go, and becoming attracted to people who I wouldn't have necessarily given a second look before. It's not that I don't know the answer to the questions above. I think deep down, we all know them. Where it gets confusing is when you know that you should love that person unconditionally and for who they are. In response to the previous statement, I came up with this: "When you truly find love, all else fails and fades away in comparison to it. I guess that's how you truly know that it is for you."

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Shakera Reid was born in Kingston, Jamaica and raised in Miramar, Florida. Her passion in life is counseling and educating youth. Hobbies include reading, writing and watching movies. Her hope is to encourage others through her writing and to help them in their Christian walk.

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