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Stopping the Root of Abandonment in Our Children

by Robin Chisholm  
2/25/2014 / Parenting

How many times do you feel abandoned in your life? How many times do you hear from your child, "you don't love me?" I am hit to the core more with hurt, frustration, and feeling sadness that my child actually believes that I do not love them. Usually when I have heard these words in the past, it was during a fit of anger or over an outburst of jealousy. I feel struck down in my soul when strong words like that come from my own flesh that I have loved and nurtured from conception. What is the proper response to such sharpness from your child with their intent to cause harm?

Ask God to lead you in the direction of how to handle the outburst. Take a few seconds along with deep breaths, and ask God to show you the root of where the statement is originating. Respond back with the guidance of the Holy Spirit because this is a touchy situation in which deeper hurt and resentment can be resonated inside of your child if answered harshly by you.

When I have answered back through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I actually see the heart of my child with the root revealed. I then talk to them about the root problem and not the symptom, which were the words. My son is going through a lot of emotional turmoil and many times in his 10-year-old age, he has used this statement. When I choose to follow God's direction a root of fear, abandonment, hurt, or just a misunderstanding of a situation has occurred. Sometimes though it is just the sheer I did not get to do what I wanted to do coming out.
Through God and the Holy Spirit's guidance, I can help heal that hurt inside of him. With loving arms, we can sit down and talk out the root of the words, to help bring hope and healing to a wound that was starting to grow.

Roots are just that, roots. Roots grow up into a tree and with deep-rooted hurts that grow up into a tree by not being resolved, outgrows the fruits of that tree. Harsh words, distrust, walls to protect ones emotions from being hurt, are poisonous fruits from a deep root that needs to feel God's grace and forgiveness to overcome.

The Bible says in Psalms 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows]" (AMP). God gives us His promise to heal our broken hearts and He will bind up our wounds to cure the pain and sorrow! If you are someone that has a root that has grown into a tree with poisonous fruit as evidence, ask God to fulfill this promise in your life. Ask God to heal your heart, bind up your wounds, and cure your pain and sorrow. Walk in His freedom today to not carry that root's full-grown tree of heaviness on your shoulders.

If your tree root has a sin tied to it, know that God says in 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (AMP). God gives us two promises: to heal that broken heart and bind up our wounds with the promise that He is faithful and just to forgive our sins to purify us from ALL unrighteousness.

Today you can walk in freedom from the root that maybe in your soul from childhood. As a parent, we want to allow God to guide us to help prevent these roots from forming and growing into a tree in our children's lives. As a tree, it hides the freedom and grace that we can receive underneath its leaves. A tree keeps a person implanted in one spot because the root has formed and it does not allow an individual to move forward. Your emotions stay implanted into the ground and the freedom that God promises to give to you when you look to Him for healing cannot run freely.

Please read this prayer and pray this with me. "Father God, you are the giver of every good and perfect gift. Please reveal to me the roots that I have allowed to grow into a tree that is yielding displeasing fruits to You. Please Holy Spirit; come into my heart to heal that brokenness. Please Father forgive me for the sin that I have held onto and not allowed Your grace to cover. Your word tells me that you are able to heal my brokenness and able to bind up my wounds. Please God bring forth that healing now. Forgive me and allow your purification process to help transform me to Your child that is free to go forward for Your glory. Help me pull up the roots holding onto my feet that have kept me in one place so I can walk free. Your Word says in Psalms 37:23, "Steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord." Father lead me in Your steps so I can be free from the tree root that resonates inside of me holding me back.
Father help me parent in a way that brings Your healing to my children so that roots do not take ground inside of their heart and soul. Give me Your wisdom and shed light on the root that is bringing forth the fruit of unrighteousness in my child's life. Open their hearts to receive me as their parent through Your grace and love to help guide them through the steps of healing in their own lives. Prevent my child from being stuck in one place and grant them the freedom to move forward in Your ordained steps for his or her life. Thank you Father for always being there to hear me, help me, and always there to love me despite my shortcomings.
In Jesus Name, Amen.

Robin Chisholm, RN BSN Free Lance Writer and writing parenting blogs for

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