As Any Husband's Luck Would Have It
by James Snyder 7/13/2007 / Humor
For many people July 7, 2007 was considered a lucky day. All across our country hundreds of young couples selected this day to get married. It had something to do with having three sevens in a row. Everybody knows this is the epitome of luck.
Actually, not everybody knew this, because I did not know it. It never occurred to me that a combination of certain numbers could in fact give me luck. Moreover, why the number 7 is lucky is beyond my imagination. Let alone, three in a row. Why not four in a row, or better yet, seven in a row? That would make more sense to me.
Obviously, the words "luck" and "sense" should not be used in the same sentence.
If you have luck, you don't need good common sense. And the reverse is true, if you have good common sense what do you need with luck?
But, for some reason many couples all across the country believed July 7, 2007 was a lucky day to get married. I have my suspicions that this came from the bride's side of the wedding party and not the groom's. Most grooms I know count themselves lucky to find someone who will in fact marry them. And then, every groom thinks it's a lucky day when he gets through his wedding day without unduly embarrassing his new in-laws.
I have officiated at many weddings in my time. I must admit there were some couples I felt could use all the luck in the world. Then there were, unfortunately, those couples that no amount of luck in the universe was going to help them. Despite vehement objections on my part, I could not convince them to call the whole thing off. They thought they were in love and that is all they needed to get through life.
After all, love makes the world go around, which may be why so many people in love are so dizzy.
In spite of this "lucky day," statistics tell us more than half of these marriages will end in divorce. And believe me, divorce is no lucky thing, unless you're a divorce attorney, who just may be behind this entire "lucky-day-marriage" phenomenon.
Marriages are not built on luck, but on love and lots and lots of hard work. More of the latter than the former, I assure you.
As I was reading all of this nonsense about "lucky day marriages," I turned to the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and asked her about this.
"Do you think our wedding day was your lucky day?"
Some days I regret my mother ever taught how to speak. The problem with my mother was, she taught me how to speak but never taught me what to say. I believe this is a woman's conspiracy against men. Mothers should teach their sons what to say and what not to say to their wives.
My question to my wife was a rather innocent thing, so I thought. I will not say she threw me a sarcastic look. She did, I just refuse to say it in public on grounds it will incriminate me. A husband can stand only so much incrimination in life.
After this alleged sarcastic look my way, she simply said, "Ha!"
I'm not sure she thought I was making a joke or not, but being the astute husband that I am, I pursued the thought no further. This is what makes marriages great ... mystery. Our marriage has enough mystery in it to keep Agatha Christie busy for 100 years.
Luck is a very curious thing. I'm not at all sure how to define it, but I count it a lucky day when I don't spill ketchup on my tie when eating at a restaurant.
Counting on luck really doesn't add up. Luck comes in only two categories. Good luck and bad luck.
This reminds me of the old "Hee Haw" song that said, "If I didn't have any bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all." Much of the luck in my life has all been bad.
When I was younger, I had a lucky shirt. I wore to every ballgame I played in and it always brought me good luck; I never died in any game. Since getting married, my luck has changed. I have not seen that shirt in 30 years. I'm not blaming my wife, but I did not throw it out.
How I made it through life all these years without my "lucky shirt," I do not know. More than once my wife has suggested I no longer need that "lucky shirt," because she is my "lucky charm." I'm in no position to argue.
I like what the Bible has to say on these lines.
"For we have not followed cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but were eyewitnesses of his majesty. For he received from God the Father honour and glory, when there came such a voice to him from the excellent glory, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." (2 Peter 1:16-17 KJV.)
Counting on luck is about as futile as counting sheep at night. When you get up in the morning, the sheep are gone, and that is the way it is with luck.
What I count on is Jesus Christ. Counting on Him has multiplied blessings in my life.
James L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular columnist living with his wife, Martha, in Ocala, Florida and can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.