Give It Up
by Judy Sims 10/07/2006 / Christian Living
I have walked in that dark cloud where it seems all your life is just heaviness. Strife, struggle, confusion and unrest crams the mind of so many, in this world.
I know what it is to worry and fear from sun up to sun down and then all through the night. I know what it is to suffer in pain and not have the means to see a doctor, not have the time to rest. I know what it is to feel like nobody cares, that you are all alone in this world. I know what it is that causes you to feel unworthy to look the cashier, at the grocery store, squarely in the eyes.
I was on the run from an abusive ex-husband, having been robbed of everything valuable, stripped of all possibility to grasp my own world in order to survive. I know how that feels. I know how it feels to be grateful for the $11 in your pocket, so that you too can go to the grocery store. I know what it is to fear the unknown.
I know what would drive a young mother to thoughts of suicide just for relief from the fatigue due to the struggle. I know how it feels to know you don't have money for Christmas presents for your little one.
I know the implosion one feels in their brain, when the gas has run out, the old car might not start again and fancy suits drive past you while you push the old car up a hill, with your baby inside.
It doesn't feel good. It's tiring and wearing on the body. It makes an old woman out of you. I know what it is to forget how to have fun.
I've been there. Are you hurting? Are you down? Are you crying every night? Do you pray and pray and pray and it seems your words hit the ceiling and go no farther?
Do you want a friend? Do you want help? Would you accept it? Are you ready for it? Do you want to see green in the trees again? Do you want to sleep again? Do you want to be able to appreciate the crisp morning air again? Do you want peaceful thoughts in your head, again? You want the rope? You want off the merry-go-round?
I know the answer sounds so very simple but the fact is, it is the answer. It will put you on your feet again, make you feel human again, make you feel possibility again, make you dream of tomorrow again. You ready?
Speak His name. You know His name, just speak it. Give up. Give up. He's waiting for you to give up.
There's something very important you need to know. Just because you know about Jesus, doesn't mean you've stepped into His light. You see, it's a two way street. Accept Jesus into your heart but also remember to give yourself to Him. Sell out. It sure doesn't hurt.
Once you've given up and spilled it all out before Him, the Holy Spirit comes immediately to cleanse, cloak and to comfort. This is a real thing. I mean real as in, you will feel it, you will know it. It happens immediately. You will sleep again, like a baby in mothers arms.
Then the next morning, after you've had some rest, here's what you do. You take those concerns, those bills, those needs and you lay them out on the floor. Seriously, lay that gas bill on the floor. Lay out notes, listing your immediate needs, right there on the floor. Then point to them and tell the Father, "There is it. I can't fix this. You can. Fix it, Father. I need Your help". And then you walk away from those pieces of paper, laying out there before the Lord where He can acknowledge them.
From this point on, you do what you can and don't ask another thing from yourself. You are not the God, He is.
Five years from now, you won't be able to remember how those needs were met, you will just remember that somehow they were tended to. That's the point, it wasn't any of your business and so you don't remember.
Break before the Lord. Don't go whining to Him about your situation, look to Him for a solution. Recognize that you may not know the perfect answer. Rely on Him for that.
You will begin a whole new chapter in your life and some day, you will be sharing that experience with others, just like me.
The Lord is on me to share my story, to write for the hurting and to help the confused push away the clouds.
I've begun sharing my writing according to the Lord's timing. He's calling His children.