FREE CHRISTIAN REPRINT ARTICLES
Christian Articles for All of your Publishing Needs!
Word Count: 745
|Send Article To Friend||Print/Use Article|
When You Don't Know What to Say: How to Help the Hurting
by Cate Russell-Cole
2/21/2016 / Church Life
I have been a social worker for thirty years and often, I don't know how to comfort people. How silly does that sound? Because I have hurt deeply, when I see others in unbearable pain, I am reminded how inadequate words are. I understand how platitudes and cheerleading attempts fall flat. It's because trying to make things better, or cheer someone up, does not acknowledge the depth of their pain.
It's easy for all of us to retreat behind walls and rely on tired old phrases. "I wish I had the answers, but I don't." "Just keep trusting God." That approach only leaves both parties feeling sadder and nothing gets better. So what is the cure for when you don't know what to say? Here are the three most effective answers I know.
1. Just be there, listen and allow crying, hysteria and all manner of scary and awful reactions to come out, as that promotes healing.
2. Let them know they are not alone... Not just then. Ring them a day later, then a week later and then in another week and stick with them until they know they are NOT alone, even when everyone else expects them to be over it. Hurting people need to know that at least one person understands that healing is rarely fast, and that someone is still there for them.
3. Absorb the Psalms / Word of God, on the deepest level you can. Since I started studying David, that the black times are easier to cope with, as now I spend my comfort-seeking time in the Psalms. I go to David: the regular guy, who found himself in an extraordinary set of situations and who suffered the most appalling persecution, health problems, family issues and threats against him, for years and years and years... and came out happy, blessed and the right way up.
The Psalms are where we can hear someone who hurts like we hurt and does not minimise suffering, or use trite phrases. You'll find comfort in relating to David's pain and honesty, and then he'll always send you straight back into the safety and healing that can only be found in the arms of God.
David has become my role model, not because he had a bag of magical answers, as he didn't. What he did do, was constantly go back to the Lord in prayer, praise, study, submission and fasting, no matter what, and he made himself focus on the positive when it seemed impossible to. He is infectious. He will teach you how to float peacefully in the shark pool, by pulling you out of yourself, showing you a better way to manage your hurts, and he'll teach you to fully engage with the loving heart of God.
I recommend that you read the Psalms so often, they get into your DNA. They will change how you think, react and cope with adversity. Read them until you dream them, wake up thinking about them and they inch their way into your mind at other times, during the day. Also try listening to Christian music which is heavily based on, or quotes the Psalms. That has helped me a lot. The Psalms were originally sung and it makes them much easier to remember.
The Psalms are the living, active Word of God with the power to comfort, heal and deliver and they WILL. Just give it time. The Word of God will never fail you.
"How Long?" When Answers to Prayer Don't Seem to Arrive
When You Can't Be An Overcomer: Coping With Spiritual Failures
Turning Back the Darkness: Coping With Insomnia and Night Stress
The Habits That Built King David's Faith
The Power ofPraying the Psalms
"But I Will Trust in You..." King David and the Art of Bouncing Back
For more information on King David, please have a meander through the King David Project Facebook page, our web site and our blog, "Masada Rain." The blog houses many useful resources on studying, David plus bits and pieces of information which don't neatly fit into article form. Please ignore dates and use the search feature to find what you want. The web site has resources on David's family tree, life and the Psalms. All content is creative commons and non-profit. Sharing of the project's work would be deeply appreciated.
Masada Rain Blog: https://masadarain.wordpress.com
The project web site: http://cateartios.wix.com/kingdavidproject
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/fromdespairtodeliverance
This article by Cate Russell-Cole is under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0)
Written in Australian English.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! Click here and TRUST JESUS NOW
Read more articles by Cate Russell-Cole
Like reading Christian Articles? Check out some more options. Read articles in Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or our highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Or enter a keyword for a topic in the search box to search our articles.
The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.