An Aardvark with an Attitude
by Brad Paulson 8/19/2007 / Humor
The serenity of the garden was shattered when an angry voice shouted, "Where is he? I know he's hiding and I'm gonna find him!" All of the animals gave plenty of space for Steve the aardvark to make his way through the garden.
"Adam! Show yourself!"
No one had seen Steve this angry before. Apprehension outweighed curiosity and the animals scrambled for cover when Steve caught sight of Adam in the distance.
"I want to have a word with you, Adam," Steve said, unsuccessfully trying to control his anger.
"What can I do for you, Steve? You seem upset." Adam was clueless as to what all the fuss was about.
"I want you to change my name. Aardvark is a ridiculous name and I will not allow myself and my descendants the dishonor of living with such a humiliating title." Steve seemed to be calmed a bit by the mere utterance of his frustration, but he was still fuming.
"I don't think it's such a bad name," said Adam.
"Well of course you don't, it's not your name! You get to be called Man. A pleasantly concise one syllable word that doesn't start with two stinkin' vowels. I'm already the laughing stock of the garden. I don't care what you have to do to change it, but if you don't I'm gonna have to go over your head, straight to the big guy." Steve was panting.
"Calm down Steve," said Adam. "There are certain advantages to the name Aardvark. It's easy to remember and if you ever start a business you'd probably be the first name in the phone book."
Steve shot Adam a look of disgust. "You know as well as I do that if I have a ridiculous name, I will be considered a ridiculous animal. I want a name that reflects my sleek and stylish design. Why can't I have a name like Cheetah or Cougar? Those are cool names. I'll trade Aardvark for Cougar."
"It's too late. I already turned the names in. Besides, God made clear it was my responsibility to name the animals. I did my best and I am not going to dishonor Him by changing yours." Adam felt that he was well within his authority, but Steve was not giving in that easily.
"Okay look, even alot of the ridiculous animals got cool names. For example, the Elephant Seal, now, even you must admit that that is a ridiculous animal. But Elephants are cool so the name Elephant Seal works, which is why they're not here complaining."
"What are you suggesting, Steve?"
"Elephant Cougar," Steve paused briefly for effect, "It's a sleek and stylish name and it kind of plays off this long nose thing I've got going." Steve folded his paws appearing confident that the logical nature of his argument would sway Adam.
"No, I am not changing your name to Elephant Cougar."
"Awe, come on."
"Look Steve, God gave me a job to do and I did my best. Not everyone is going to be happy with the names I have given them, but that's just the way it is. I'm not going to let everyone who comes along try to influence me into doing what they want. My concern is what God wants, not anybody else, and you're just going to have to accept that." Adam nodded his head indicating that the conversation was over.
"You haven't heard the last of this Adam!" Steve yelled as he turned and stomped away. "I'm not just going to roll over and play dead on this one!"
Adam let out a sigh of relief as Steve disappeared into the lush foliage. "Well," he said to himself, "as far as this day is concerned, things can only get better from here." The moment was interrupted by the voice of Eve calling from the center of the garden.
"Adam, I need your help! I can't reach this apple."
Brad Paulson is a Construction Superintendent by day and a freelance writer by night. His focus is to honor Christ through his writing. Several of his short stories have been published in Faithwriters anthology books. He has also contributed to a number of print and online magazines.