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Regurgitating the Dregs

by Julie Arduini  
8/20/2007 / Christian Living

I've had dregs on my mind ever since my secret sister at church absolutely spoiled me rotten for my birthday. Among other things I was able to pick up Beth Moore's latest, Get Out of that Pit, and had enough left over on the bookstore gift card to get a mocha. A venti no less! I savored that baby because the Starbucks brand doesn't pass my hands often. Anyway, when I reached the bottom I noticed the little floaters we call dregs, the last of the last, the bottom of the barrel. Few beg for the dregs of a drink. There is one instant milk drink I usually bleh all the way through because the dregs gag me. So why do we so often pass off dregs to those we love most?

You know what I mean. We have given to everyone on our list from the first crack of dawn to the last rays of sun. There is nothing left to give, oh wait, those little floaters at the bottom of your cup that you pass of to the ones who love you most as quality time.
Play ball with me? Can't sweetie, I'm too tired from work. Tomorrow. Promise.
Hey let's get together for coffee after the meeting. Oh sounds great, I'll meet you there after I finish these other projects.
Wanna rent a movie? We haven't had us time in awhile. zzzzzzz....snore....huh? Did you say something?

I've been handing out dregs to my loved ones for awhile, longer than I want to admit. My husband is in what could be the busiest but best year of his life. Work changes that challenge and inspire, a Passion Play part, a summer missions trip, Sunday school teaching, marriage ministry at church, family matters, money chat, when he wants to share I realized lately I'm giving off a lot of "uh huhs" "hmmm" "Really?" "Good for you." Who wants to savor that drink? It's full of bottom of the barrel mass of nothing. He deserves my full attention and if it is absolutely impossible to do that moment, he at least needs to know I'm interested, but could we finish this after the kids are in bed, can't wait to hear more!

The hypocritical thing about me is that I want the venti mocha experience when it's my time to talk. When I want to share or vent or dream I'd like your elbows propped on the table gazing at me, especially if we share the last name and took vows together on August 31! Dregs. I don't want them, yet I give them. In my childrens' case, I often justify dishing out the drab thinking well tomorrow I'll have more energy to listen or spend time playing Memory or baseball or whatever. And the next day becomes a week becomes a month and I just don't want my kids to stare at me on graduation and say hey thanks mom for the mediocre. Those were some bland times we had, weren't they? Just like a dreg filled drink.

I have a list, maybe not written, for my priorities. God first, husband second, kids third, work/ministry, etc...This might strike you as odd. When I keep my list in check this way, no one gets the dregs and my schedule flows pretty peacefully. I think it's important husband is prioritized above kids. I want to model a good marriage for them and if daddy gets the dregs every day, well I haven't modeled much for them. And if you still squirm reading that husband comes second, well, one day those kids leave. And I don't want to be sitting in the house with a stranger.

Now, if you think I'm off to put God first, I'll give you the whip cream version off the top of my drink, the best of the best, no dregs allowed---I could not function any other way. He's on my list not because of a religion but because we have a relationship. It's a good one, even when I dish up dregs to the family and friends. God's good like that. And His Son? I serve a three in One---God, Christ and Holy Spirit. I can only accomplish passing out mocha experiences without dregs when my relationship is active and in synch. Think of the best mocha you've ever had and that is what a friendship with your Heavenly Father through His Son is about. Sweet, never cold, won't burn you, and never ever will you get the dregs from Him. Even with Him I goof it up and shortchange those around me. But today I'm aware and wanting to be better about it.

For the last few minutes I've been praying about this bam! awesome ending on this topic and honestly, could I be any thicker? Husband just asked if I'd like to watch Rocky Balboa. Hmm yea. Upstairs or down? Doesn't matter, just give me ten more...

Friends, I'm signing off. No dregs for anyone tonight, not for you or for home. Now, go get that mocha and savor it!

Julie Arduini,, is devoted to writing for Christ in ways that encourage and inspire. A graduate of the Christian Writer's Guild, her writing resume is on her blog's sidebar. Happily married to Tom, they have two children.

@2009 by Julie Arduini

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