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It's A Small World After All

by James Snyder
9/02/2007 / Humor

When people say size does not matter, it is usually because it does not matter to them. However, to those of us who are definitely not vertically challenged it is a rather serious thing. I must admit there are times when I forget how tall I am. Then something happens reminding me of this fact of life.

A recent airplane flight once again brought this home to me. I always try to take the economy flights but I have come to realize that economy means different things to different people. For me, economy means saving money.

With an airline company, the word economy means they economize on size. Normally, it is a good thing; but when you are tall like I am, it is not so good. It is my opinion, based on personal experience, the designers of these airplanes are definitely dyslexic.

For example, I am 6-ft. 3-in. and every plane I have been on was designed for a person 3-ft. 6-in. I can understand how this mistake can be made. After all, they have the numbers right, just the order wrong, and who hasn't got things backward at times?

The moment I boarded my airplane I was reminded of this dilemma.

The first thing I did was bump my head on the ceiling. It was my fault for walking tall and proud. I immediately humbled myself and bowed to the floor in order to walk down the aisle. All I could see was the floor the whole length of the airplane.

I noticed the floor was rather dirty. Then I noticed my shoes. I cannot tell you the last time I looked down and saw my shoes. Either my shoes need a good polishing or to be thrown in the garbage.

Then, when did I start wearing different-colored socks? I had one blue one and the other was brown. When I'm standing up it is so far down to my socks that I never noticed this before. How long has this been going on?

My seat was the last one in the back of the plane, the very last seat. When I booked my reservation, I explained to them that I was rather tall and needed a large seat. Had I understood the situation I would have told them I was a midget and needed a very tiny seat.

Airplanes operate under the law of displacement. This simply means that they put a very tall man in a very small seat. This, according to their highly trained reasoning, equals out in the long run. And the longer the flight, the smaller the seat.

By the time I reached my seat, I was almost exhausted. Walking humbly like this is a very tiring piece of work, which I am unaccustomed to.

I finally reached my seat. By the time I squeezed my extra-large frame into this diminutive seat my knees were becoming rather friendly with my chin. Fortunately, I had several chins to work with at the time.

Several times during the flight, the flight attendant came and asked me to "please, sit down." If I would not have been so cramped at the time, I would have given her a piece of my mind but I wasn't quite sure where my mind was at that time.

About halfway to my destination, I had a very serious decision to make. Do I unfold myself from this seat and go to the bathroom or just wait it out?

It was one of those situations that no matter what you did, it would not work out. By the time I got out of my seat one of two things would have occurred. Either, we would have arrived at our destination, or, I would no longer need the bathroom.

Size does have its disadvantages. Believe me.

When I'm buying a shirt, for example, I get frustrated at my size. I take a 17-1/2 XL shirt. Where do you suppose they put this size? Let me give you a little hint.

Right at my eye level is size 15-S. In order for a man who wears that size to reach it, he needs a step stool or someone like me to hand it to him. My size, surprise, surprise, is on the bottom shelf where I need either to get on my hands and knees or ask the man who takes a size 15-S to hand it to me. This again is an example of the law of displacement.

Another example is somebody, usually a rather short person, will ask me, "How's the weather up there, Bud?" In addition, they always ask it as if they are the first ones ever to ask this question. One of these days, I'm going to respond by saying, "It's stormy." Then I plan to sneeze real good and juicy.

Fortunately, I have discovered that when it comes to my relationship to God size doesn't really matter. In fact, size can hinder. What does matter is learning to humble myself before the Lord allowing him to use me as He sees fit.

Several Bible verses come to mind on the subject.

"Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." (James 4:10 KJV.)

"But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." (James 4:6 KJV.)

For me, I stand the tallest when kneeling before God in prayer.

James L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular columnist living with his wife, Martha, in Ocala, Florida and can be contacted at [email protected].

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