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My struggle with divine re-commissioning - Moses
by theburningbushboy Solanke
11/07/2017 / Leadership
Writer’s Burden: Pharaoh and his taskmasters stand strong and tall today, because God is still struggling to get a Moses to forget his past failures and quit his comfort zone.
I woke up to the chanting of the birds. What a melodious harmony they produced. The weather was calm and there was nothing in the atmosphere to suggest that my life was about to flip over to a new chapter. As I led the flock through the usual pathway, the back of the desert towards Mount Horeb,otherwise called,the Mountain of God, I didn’t know that something quite unusual was waiting for me.
I had seen the smoke a couple of distance ahead of me and wondered who could have lit up a fire on the mountain. I knew it was certainly not a volcanic eruption. However, as I got closer, I was surprised to see the bush caught up in flames. I was more surprised noticing that the fire, as intent as it burnt,could not consume the bush.
Although the bleating of the flock urged me to move ahead, I just couldn’t ignore the phenomenon. I suddenly told myself, “I will NOW turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn.” (Ex. 3:3) I was curious and eager to get to the root of the strange occurrence. That was right! I made a U-turn, because I wanted to know why the bush kept BURNING without being BURNT. (Why do some lives keep burning without ever burning out?)
Anyway, my turning aside marked the re-opening of an experience I thought I had finally laid to rest in my life. The moment God saw that I had turned aside from the direction I chose for myself, He spoke. Would He have kept quiet if I had failed to turn to Him? Could it be that my self-will silenced Him all along? God surely got me walking straight into His ambush!
“Moses, Moses!” That was God calling me right from the midst of the burning bush. His electrifying voice immediately charged and changed the atmosphere. You could not but bow in submission to His awesome voice. “Here I am,” I answered back reverently. I could have answered, “Who are you or what is it?” But, HERE I AM, I guess, was what He had waited long to hear from me. HERE I AM assured Him of my availability.
You will kindly permit me to make a confession. Prior to this day, I had sensed His many attempts to remind me of my people back in Egypt. His still voice had come within me many times, but I had always ignored it just the way you do. I actually thought I had successfully pushed Egypt behind me, until this day when HERE I AM meant I was finally submitting my life to the one I had dodged for forty years.
As I tried approaching the voice, (What boldness!) He ordered that I take off my sandals on the basis that I was standing on holy ground. Can you imagine that? This was the same spot I had walked upon many times without attaching any sense of holiness to it. However, I later considered that it was His holy presence that made the ground holy. (Give the King of Glory a ground in your life and end up with a glorious life. He whom God dwells must be holy).
As I took off my sandals, I heard Him introducing Himself as the God of my fathers – The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Now, you would need to have your Hebrew descent crosschecked if these three patriarchs mean nothing to you. I had the privilege of mama telling me stories of how God moved mightily in the lives of these great men.
At this point, I became so afraid of meeting this same God all alone on a deserted mountain. Out of fear, I raised the following questions within me: “What is He going to do with me? Will He slay me? Has He come to revisit my sins? Can this voice be God’s? Am I really standing before Him?”
Suddenly, the LORD spoke, “I have surely seen the oppression of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows. So I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up from that land to a good and large land, to a land flowing with milk and honey…” Ex. 3:7-8.
As God went on, I wondered why He was telling me all these. I said to myself, “If you have come to deliver your people, why don’t you just go ahead and do so. After all, trying to deliver them forty years ago led to my exile.” I was still bringing up issues in my heart when I heard Him saying, “Come now, therefore, and I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring my people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.” Ex. 3:10
I knew it! I sensed it would get to this the very moment He started saying He had come to visit His people. My suspicion of getting me involved was right. Brethren, I have come to know by my experience that God doesn’t discuss burdens in His heart with anyone just for the fun of it. By the time a divine burden persists in your heart, a divine commissioning is around the corner. Scared? Don’t be!
Back then, I found God’s invitation to be very unfair and unrealistic. Why should He come to ruffle my peace and happiness so suddenly? I had put Pharaoh, Egypt and Israel all behind me. I had taken Midian as home and had settled down to raise a family. Why should anyone, including God, therefore, come to disturb my quiet life!
Though annoyed, I calmly told God: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” Ex. 3:11. That was the truth; the truth said in fear! Why me? Why should I be considered for such a herculean task? Why would God have me repeat the same assignment I messed up forty years ago? Although, He promised to be with me on this, I still felt I deserved to be left alone.
To let Him know I was not interested in His offer, I told Him I didn’t even know His name. This did not, however, move Him. He simply replied, “I AM WHO I AM.” What a name! In another desperate move to get Him lose His interest in me, I told Him I was not eloquent. “Master, please, I don’t talk well. I’ve never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I shutter and stammer.” Ex. 4:10 (The Message)
I expected this to get me off His hook, but as much as I tried to shake Him off, the more He got interested in me. He had answers to all of my objections. Of course, I should have known that I was speaking with my creator.
Hear Him, “And who do you think made the human mouth? And who makes some mute, some deaf, some sighted, some blind? Isn’t it I, GOD? So, get going. I’ll be right there with you – with your mouth! I’ll be right there to teach you what to say.” Ex. 4:11-12 (The Message) “Will someone please bail me from this God,” I yelled within me.
He had hardly finished speaking when I cut in rudely and said: “Oh, master! Please! SEND SOMEBODY ELSE!” Ex. 4:13 (The Message) I was done with beating about the bush, trying to tell Him I wasn’t interested in jeopardizing my family, peace and occupation to confront Pharaoh. Let Him look elsewhere, for I am sure that there should be someone else out there qualified for this assignment.
The moment I said this, I knew I had ‘stressed’ Him. He was obviously annoyed. But while I thought (happily) this would make Him to finally look somewhere else, it turned out that He didn’t bat an eyelid over His choice. Instead of brushing me aside in anger, He only brought up my elder brother, Aaron, on the scene as my spokesman.
Having no more steam left within me to further contend with Him, I surrendered and I allowed Him to have His way in my life. However, I left the mountain wondering what the future held for me. I pondered on how the Egyptians, particularly my people, would receive me. I imagined what had changed in Egypt. I tried to picture the present state and the current occupants of the palace. I was hitching to know if my Hebrew brother, the one who challenged me and got me running, was still alive. I wondered if he would still be bold enough to challenge me. These thoughts and more flashed through my mind as I returned home.
You’ll be right to say I got back home earlier that day than before. I went straight to see Jethro, knowing I stood the chance of losing the urge of going back to Egypt should I allow the spirit of procrastination to rule over me. Moreover, I was not used to taking critical decisions without first discussing them with Jethro. He was both my father-in-law and spiritual father.
God must have gone ahead of me, because after I told him everything and requested for his permission to leave for Egypt, he merely nodded his head in agreement. Jethro really made it quite easy for me. He gave me the go-ahead without any objection. It was that simple!
The next hurdle was my wife. How do you tell your wife that you met God speaking to you in a burning bush and that this God wanted you to return to Egypt as ‘Voltron’ – the legendary defender of the universe.“Will she ever understand this vision?” I questioned.
On my way home from Jethro’s house, God again re-assured me that those who wanted me dead in Egypt were no more. I was so relieved to hear that I could walk into Egypt without the fear of walking into a death trap. With this reassurance, I woke her up in the midnight – it’s the best time we discuss crucial matters.
I studied her countenance as I carefully unfolded all that happened earlier in the day. She kept sighing and readjusting her position on the bed. Eventually, it was her turn to talk. When she opened her mouth about three or four times to speak, but with nothing audible coming out, I took this as a bad sign. I knew it would be practically impossible proceeding on this ministry without her support. But my eyes suddenly popped out as I heard her saying, “Darling, I am with you in this. When I married you, I also got married to your divine vision and assignment. I cannot now leave you alone; we are in this together. Home is wherever you are and whatever you do, especially for God, becomes my own assignment as well.” We hugged ourselves in tears and believed the known God for the unknown future. (Time would, however, prove her commitment).
Armed, therefore, with God’s promises and the support of my family, there was no avoiding Egypt. I told myself that although I did it all wrong forty years ago, I was ready to go back and do it all right this time around. Back then, I rested on my understanding and zeal, but now, I was going to rely on God’s perfect wisdom. If I was a failure yesterday and God is giving me a second chance, then I choose to be a success in my today.
Beloved, is your story more on the side of failure? No matter how severe your failure is, God is offering you another chance to succeed. I know you have laid aside or even buried your divine vision because you failed and because people scorned you for it, but God is calling you back on your feet. He is sending you back to the same place you failed to rescue the same people who mocked you. (In the very place where they were once named NOBODY, they will be named GOD’S SOMEBODY). Hosea 1:10 (TM)
Will you not, for the sake of a dying world, allow God to re-commission you? Don’t you think you have stayed back long enough? Are you not keeping your generation waiting in vain for you? How long will you continue to allow past defeats and shame to tie you down and away from today’s feats and tomorrow’s glory? It is time to pick up your broken pieces and confidently challenge the Pharaoh of your time. Happy re-commissioning!
- Burning Bush Boy
Burning Bush Boy (Moses Ayodeji Solanke) is a Snr Editor with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) and also a Christian Writer/Blogger - www.theburningbushboy.wordpress.com. He has great passion for enhancing the Christendom with media tools. He is married with three children. Email:[email protected]
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