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Returning to My Roots: A Sincere Apology
by Jennie Malcolmmm
11/09/2018 / Church Life
I have a confession to make…and a story to tell.
When I first started this blog, I envisioned it to be a peaceful place for Christian college students. I wanted to share stories of my college experience and to encourage people with them. I wanted to talk about God issues in the classroom, in friendships, and in our personal lives–the things we’re working through as young adults. I wanted to show how God’s working in my life and all around me, and I wanted to help other Christian college students stand up, unashamed of their God and their identity in Him.
But then, I said, “Well, I don’t want to exclude non-Christians.”
And it kind of snowballed from there.
There were some other things going on in my personal life that punched me in the face and stabbed me in the back and crept sneakily in, all at the same time.
It’s no coincidence that this sudden darkness entered right when I wanted to launch this big idea. I would even say that is how I know that those initial ideas are exactly where I am supposed to be. Exactly where God wants me to be. Where He made me to be. Because we have an Enemy that wants nothing more than to knock us off track and keep us from doing all of the awesome things God wants for us.
And there is no doubt that God has used that darkness only to strengthen me in Him. (Sidenote: Honestly, the face-off between God and Satan is so mismatched that God is really just squashing a pesky bug whenever Satan comes around.)
But, all that being said, I tried to do all of this without God. Take Him out of the equation. Do it myself. Because I wanted to please everyone. I thought I would be more accepted and more successful if I tried to “include” everyone that I could.
Of course, in hindsight, that seems really counterintuitive. Out of anyone in the world, God’s the one that could lead me to more success than I could ever imagine–he’s done it before, why not now? And interestingly enough, it turns out that pleasing everyone isn’t a good idea from what we know about marketing, too. The most successful marketing strategies aim for a dreadfully specific target audience (This is just one of the many examples in which a principle God was trying to teach me showed up in the “secular” research I was doing).
And I am sorry. Of course, I am sorry to God and to myself. But I am also sorry to you, reader, for not offering you what I truly have to offer (I feel like Jonah right now. But at least I didn’t literally get puked up by a whale to learn my lesson…it only emotionally feels like it). So I am sorry for not giving you what He made me to give to you.
And I will do better.
I’m returning to my old writing voice…the one I used on Like An Introvert. And I’ll probably be more active on there, too–I’ve let that rest for too long.The feeling of guilt very often send you in procrastination. It takes away all your free time. Very often you do not even have time to give homework and you have to buy college research paper. You have to do something about it. That voice and that heart was the one that awakened this calling for writing, encouraging, and helping.
Why not continue with it?
You’ll see more stories, and less lists and tips. I probably won’t have any more monthly topics, either (Not that I could even keep up with those, anyways). Just college life as it comes, as I see it, and as He shows me.
Hello everyone. My name is Jane, and I have been working as an editor for 7 years. In my free time, I love to travel and write about it on my blog. Yes, I am also a freelance writer.
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