Have you ever gone through a series of crisis that occurred simultaneously? Though you've come through it all with your sanity and faith intact, you feel exhausted wanting only to crawl into the comforting arms of someone who will hold you with compassion and understanding until your soul is replenish.
That's how I felt! Since February I had been bombarded with crisis upon crises in every major area of my life that left me feeling abandon and isolated from family and friends who couldn't identify emotionally what I was going through. No one could connect with me in my loss because they hadn't been where I'd been.
"Lord," I cried, "I need a hug from someone who can feel and understand what I've been through. I'm not looking for a new relationship or sexual intimacy, I just want somebody to hold me, to tell me they understand and know what I'm feeling! Isn't there anyone for me who can give me the comfort I need?"
As I sat with my head in my arms sobbing, I heard in my mind, "I AM THAT I AM." Over and over again the phrase was repeated, "I AM THAT I AM." I wiped my eyes and turned to the passage of scripture in Exodus where God identified Himself to Moses through the Burning Bush as "I Am that I Am." From there I followed the reference scriptures to John 8:58 where Jesus identified Himself to the Pharisees with the same title. And then to Revelation 1:4, 8 where Jesus identifies Himself as the one "who was, who is and who is to come" and "Alpha and Omega the beginning and the ending."
"Yes Lord, I understand that you are self-existing; you are before all things, you know the beginning and ending of everything that exists, seen and unseen because everything that exists was created by you! But what does that have to do with me and my present needs?"
Tears began to roll down my cheeks as God began to speak to me with my own mouth.
"Anna, I am the God of your past, your present and your future. I was there when you were conceived in your mother's womb. I was there throughout your growing up when you were rejected, humiliated and misused; I was there! I felt your pain when you was deserted and betrayed by those close to you. I know how you feel! Remember the multitude, even the 70 disciples who followed me only for the fishes and loaves? I know what it feels like to be abandon and betrayed. I was with you then, I am with you now and I will take you safely through to your future."
"Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus! Hallelujah Lord Jesus!" As I praised and worship God with tears of gratitude and thankfulness I felt the comfort of God surround me, hugging me. The weariness was gone, my soul was replenished. I was now able to enjoy life again.
Anna M. Caison, third (eldest daughter) of eleven children, born in Chicago, Illinois. She is an ordain minister, Preschool Teacher and freelance writer for adults and children. www.christmadeknowninme.org